Rachel says I should write this as a
way of settling my nerves. In 20
minutes or so, we’re going to start the séance, and, yes, now the time’s here,
I am rather nervous about it. I’ve never
taken part in anything like this before so I don’t know what to expect. I’ve seen it in movies but how close
to real life can that be?
Okay, to bring this journal up to date
with today’s events so far ~ Alex finally got around the security on the database
and she and Florence learned that Dr Carver was called to the Manor to treat
Florentine for acute anemia and severe depression. So I think it safe to say that Florentine McFarlane is the crying
woman and it is her face we all saw.
Why she was depressed, I don’t know.
Rachel says one of the symptoms of anemia is tiredness. Maybe that, over a period of time, left
untreated, could have become depression.
There was no record of anyone being treated for a gunshot wound. We have no idea where the screaming comes
in, or the laughter, or why the two brothers were arguing. We are all hopeful that the séance will
answer those questions.
When we got back to the lodge this
morning, Derek made the formal suggestion to Andy. He said that we’d all been asked our opinions informally to see
if the idea had any merit. Andy agreed
that it was worthwhile. Halloween is
the night to do it. Then, we went to
sleep. This afternoon, Alex and
Florence gave us the latest on the research (see above) and we discussed it,
Derek said he’d found a man’s voice in the background of the laughing tape, and
then he, Alex and Rachel talked us thru what’s involved in a séance. We’d sit in a circle, hold hands and open
our minds to the possibilities. We
should try not to think or move around.
We should focus on the Manor.
Derek would lead, we’re all there to support him. Nick and Peri are sitting it out as security
in case something goes wrong. They’ll
also video the whole thing so, if none of us can remember what happens or our
memories are a little fuzzy, we can watch it later. We spent the afternoon mostly in our two groups – the club and
the Foundation – preparing in our own way.
Andy, Drake, Florence and I talked quietly, went for a walk around the
grounds. I apologized to them for being
such a controlling bitch. They accepted
it and said they were pleased I was so different now although they wished I
didn’t have to go thru such an ordeal to get there. Then we talked about where we would go on next year’s vacation, but
promised we’d get together long before that.
We came back to the Manor at 7:00,
later than usual. It feels different
again. It has an electricity in the
air, a buzz. Almost like it’s
alive. Nick had set up the video camera
in the library and moved chairs in there.
Derek’s been conferring with Alex and I think we’re about ready to start
now. More later .. I hope.
I feel exhausted. I didn’t ever believe it would take so
long. I thought .. 30 minutes max. It was 3 hours. It started slow, nothing happened. I think we were all too wired to relax into it. When that wore off, I felt so strange. Light headed. Drugged or so tired. And
then … Well, I remember but it’s like
it happened to someone else. If I
hadn’t seen it on video, I’d never have believed it. Derek began to call on the spirits in Haystone to come to us, to
tell us their story. I remember that
clearly. And then .. they
answered. They didn’t appear but they
came to tell us. They used us to
tell it for them.
The video shows Drake, Andy, Florence,
Alex and myself suddenly slump down in our chairs. Then our heads rise and we look at each other as if we’re family
– we love each other and yet we hate each other. We start to talk. Derek
asks me who I am, and I say Charity McFarlane.
I felt her inside me. I couldn’t
stop it, I couldn’t do anything. My
mind had been shoved aside. And the
story I helped tell … My God. It’s unbelievable. The worst thing is that, although I loved them, I did nothing. I let it go on. I’m as much to blame as they are. I helped bury the body.
*****
We’re all set up ready and I just hope
the others are up to this. They look
nervous but in an excited way. I’ve
told them to write their journals because today’s details may seem fuzzy
afterward. To them, this is what
Halloween should be about. If they’d
seen the things I have, they wouldn’t be so excited about it.
I’m taking part in the séance, along
with Derek and Alex. Nick and Peri are
sitting it out. We need outside
observers as well as someone there to break it up if anything goes wrong. We have to keep in mind that a shot was
fired, blood was spilled, and an argument did take place. We’ve had crying and screaming. This house was not a happy family home. It isn’t going to be easy. Anyone thinks it is .. they’re in for a
shock.
Journals should be as complete as they
can so I’ll fill in this morning’s details.
We were all aware that our time here is limited and Halloween night was
really our best chance, so, when we got back to the lodge, Derek formally
raised the subject of a proper séance.
Andrew agreed to it. They were
all willing to try. Then we slept
because we were tired, and not just physically tired. I think the strain of listening and analyzing only to have more
questions, of researching but not finding exactly what we want only more leads,
was starting to tell on our mental reserves.
I know I went out like a light and didn’t really feel refreshed when I
woke. To be honest, I’m looking forward
to sleeping when it’s dark and in my own bed.
For now, though, I won’t quit.
The afternoon began well – Alex and
Florence made a breakthrough. Dr Carver
did not treat anyone for a gunshot wound – which is a little puzzling – but he
had been called to the Manor to treat Florentine McFarlane for severe
depression and acute anemia. It could
be the two are related medically with the anemia coming first. Anemia causes tiredness which, left
untreated, would wear a person down and lead to depression, especially if
they’ve lived an active life up to that point.
It probably means that Florentine is the woman we heard crying and it is
her face we’ve seen. One of the other
side effects of depression is insomnia which aggravates the tiredness and leads
to a downward spiral. I don’t know but
one supposition could be that the spiral dragged her down to a suicidal state
of mind and she tried to shoot herself but was saved. The blood was from a flesh wound easily treated. And, of course, a family like that wouldn’t
want it known even in a confidential record.
It has to be proved but it’s workable from a medical aspect.
Derek told us that he’d located 1
other voice, a male voice, in the background of the recording from last
night. Again, too faint for details.
We spent the afternoon in 2 groups,
or, more accurately, 3 groups. Andrew
and the others went out for a walk after Derek, Alex and I talked them thru
what a séance involves. The 3 of us
began our preparations too, mainly quiet time, talking softly. Nick and Peri went to the Manor to set it up
for tonight.
After supper, we came up to the
house. As soon as we walked in, we
could feel the difference. The Manor
seems to know which night it is and maybe even that we are here to help. I won’t say it feels cooperative but there
is some sense approaching anticipation in the air.
Derek doesn’t want to wait till
midnight because that is a very dangerous time on Halloween – we don’t want
anyone to get hurt. I think we’re about
ready to start now. I’ll finish this
later …
It’s now past midnight and Alex is
recovering well. She’s experienced this
type of activity before and she’s bouncing back. The others are disoriented still, a little unsteady on their feet
and looking slightly nauseous. I’m not
surprised. I was in the circle but not
affected; neither was Derek. Nick got
the whole thing on tape. At first, they
weren’t in the mood to settle to it but the nerves wore off and, suddenly, they
all slumped down, even Alex. The
spirits in this house came at Derek’s invitation and they used the bodies they
found waiting here to tell, and act out, their story. In turn, Derek asked who they were. Alex was Clemency McFarlane, Carrie was Charity and Florence was
Florentine. Jack McFarlane used Andrew
and Barnaby spoke thru Drake.
I can’t believe what I heard, yet I
know it’s the truth. It was all too
passionate to be a lie. It’s a story of
love and death. They buried the body
right here, in the library.
*****
I can rest up for a while now. Rachel has everything under control. Derek wants to watch the tape again. Everything’s been answered. At last, we know what happened here and why
Jack decided to shut the gates and, ultimately, to sell up. He couldn’t face living here a second
longer, not with the people he loved most yet felt so ashamed of. Merli says, now it’s out in the open, the
disturbances will probably end.
Maybe. If anything anchors a
spirit to this world, it’ll be either love or hate. Here, we got both.
The smell in the library – that of
rotting flesh – turns out to be a dead body after all. But it didn’t stay buried in here. They moved it and reburied it in the woods
out back. Merli and I found the place
this afternoon but we didn’t know what it meant, not exactly. We had ideas – they were all wrong. Way off track.
When we got back to the lodge this
morning, Derek asked Andrew to consider the idea of a séance. Everyone had been approached informally to
gather opinions on whether it was a good idea or not. They’d all had time to think about it and so Andrew said
yes. I think Merli was a little
disappointed, not because she thinks it a bad idea but she doesn’t like to see
civilians put in danger and the truth is that none of them had done this
before. It sounded right for the
occasion and the place but that shouldn’t be why it’s held. Then we split up to sleep. After lunch, Derek brought us up to speed on
the analysis and said he’d heard a man’s voice very faintly in the background
of the laughing tape. Alex told us that
Dr Carver had been summoned to the Manor to treat Florentine, the youngest of
the sisters, for depression and anemia.
Rachel explained how one could bring on the other. No gunshot wounds though – at least, not in
any of the McFarlane medical records.
There was a wound but the doctor never knew about it. Derek, Alex and Rachel explained what would
be involved in holding the séance and how to prep for it. Merli and I had already decided we’d sit it
out. Derek wanted the whole thing taped
so we went up to the Manor to get it ready.
We set up chairs in the library, got a good angle for the camera so it
would catch everything but not be intrusive.
Then we went out to the woods to check out those trails.
We found a small, cleared area with a
simple fence around it. It had started
out that way but, after so long, it was overgrown. You could still tell it wasn’t natural. Set back a little from the path, with this low fence. Naturally, we went to investigate and found
a wooden marker. No name on it. Definitely not hallowed ground; at least,
not hallowed by a minister. I like to
think it was hallowed by love and tears.
It was a fair distance from the Manor, not in sight of any of the
windows. A shameful place. Jack had to keep it secret but he didn’t
want to see it every day. It was there
though, in his mind. It shattered his
family. It was the reason why they had
to leave.
At 7:00, we came up to the house
again. Derek spent some time talking
with Alex while Rachel kept an eye on the others. Then, we got down to it.
Simple enough. Derek, Rachel,
Alex sat between Andrew, Drake and Florence.
Carrie was in the circle too.
Merli and I stayed outside.
Aquila was there as well, tense and waiting. I figured we had it covered.
At first, nothing happened.
Then, because nothing happened, they relaxed enough to let it
happen. Derek called on the ghosts to
come and tell their story. They did but
not how we expected. They moved into
Alex, Drake, Andrew, Carrie and Florence.
Just took them over. Merli was
anxious, wondering if they’d leave again – they did, once it was all out in the
open. How Jack and Barnaby argued and
Jack shot him in the shoulder because Barnaby got in the way – Jack had been
trying to shoot Florentine, and not to wound.
It was acted out in front of the camera. The screaming – Florentine again, with Barnaby and Charity there
with her. The crying – Florentine alone
and in despair. Burying the body in the
library, then digging it up again and burying it out in the woods where no one
would find it. We’d thought it had been
the grave of an animal, a family pet.
It was about the right size. But
it was Florentine’s baby.
*****
I have really tried today to emulate
Alex’s professionalism but I have had to admit I am just an amateur with
aspirations. I wanted to be as calm and
composed as she is about this séance but I’m just too nervous and excited about
it. We haven’t held the séance yet but
it won’t be long now. A few minutes. Rachel advises us to write down today so far
because later we’ll be too busy thinking about what we learn, to remember what
happened before. Also, it’s a
distraction, stopping us from dwelling on what we’re about to do.
Alex made the break thru the firewall
at around 4:20 this morning. She looked
so tired by that time that we didn’t really feel it was the success it
was. We read all five McFarlane medical
records, concentrating on the last 12-18 months of their time in the
Manor. The only one Dr Carver saw was
Florentine. A rather terse entry
related that he’d diagnosed severe depression and acute anemia. Then we shut down and prepared to return to
the lodge. Over breakfast, Derek asked
Andrew about holding a séance to learn the truth. He added that we’d all been asked only informally to learn our
reactions. If we were against it then
he would’ve stayed silent but the general consensus appeared to be in
favor. Andrew said yes. Derek said we’d all be briefed later on what
to expect. Then we all went to our
various rooms to sleep. Alex slept at
once. I was too wired to sleep. I lay there just thinking of what might
happen, not just during the séance but afterward as well. Could we really bring peace to these people? It was such a wonderful idea that, after so
many years of torment, the members of the ghost club could bring it to an
end. Eventually, I did sleep but I was
tired when I woke. Not surprising, I
guess.
We ate lunch and Alex told the group
about our findings with the medical records.
She is so thorough. I would’ve
just said about Florentine but Alex related everything. Rachel explained what anemia does and how it
might cause depression. We all agreed
that Florentine must be the ghost we’ve seen.
Derek said he’d isolated another voice on the laughing tape but it was
very faint. He couldn’t do any more with
it here. Then we moved on to tonight’s
plan. Nick and Peri would stay outside
the circle as security. I don’t like
the implied suggestion that something could go wrong. It makes me very nervous.
Derek, Rachel and Alex told us the best way to prepare ourselves, and
what was involved, how to do it. The
preparation advice was more or less followed.
We spent quiet time as a group.
We went outside, walking around the garden, trying to ‘get back to
nature’. We talked too. Carrie apologized for being a cow. That was
very good of her. She is so different
now. We discussed where we’d go on next
year’s vacation – again, a distraction, a way of telling ourselves there will be
a vacation next year because we’ll all sail thru tonight. We did promise to meet up again before
vacation time, as a group of 4, maybe around Christmas. We’re all single people, and Haystone has
really brought us together as friends.
In a way, that is a result.
I don’t have much time left now so
I’ll just note that we returned here at 7:00.
Everything was ready for us.
Nick and Peri did that this afternoon.
The Manor feels different.
Sparky, alive. Not at all
spooky, like it should as a haunted house on Halloween. Derek’s calling us into the circle. Have to go.
More later ~
I don’t know if I can write it all,
not now. I’m just stunned at what
happened to me. More than that, I’m
stunned at the story I helped tell. I
have to remember I am Florence Goode, not .. her. I’ll have to work up to it – the séance started slowly because we
were too tense. We didn’t prepare
properly. Then, when we all thought it
was a bust, we relaxed and focused on the Manor and not on ourselves. Derek asked them to come to us, to tell
their story. Suddenly, I felt very
weird. I could see but it was like
double vision. Andy was still there but
his face was someone else’s. So were
Drake’s and Carrie’s, and Alex’s. I
knew them. They were my family. Andy looked at me with such disgust and
horror. Alex and Carrie were ..
distant, cool. But Drake …
And then we began to talk. Drake and I, Drake and Andy, the 3 of us,
all of us. I can’t even begin to think
about it.
I can’t write any more tonight. It’s too raw. Tomorrow, I’ll fill in the gaps.
I can do it then because I’m never going to forget tonight. Never.
*****
Florence has been so thorough in her
research that I’m thinking of asking her to compile a report which we can mail
to Mr Jessop. Maybe Drake can include a
few photographs too. Mr Jessop did
request a report should we experience anything .. and we have. I think no one who spent time here has
bothered. I don’t know why – maybe the
Manor didn’t consider them serious enough.
Maybe those others who applied for permits, or who sneaked over the wall
and got inside somehow, were only here to say they’d been here. But, although we’re amateurs, we approached
it seriously, scientifically, as well as hoping to be scared by .. something.
The culmination of all that is about
to begin. I’ve seen strange things
during my time in the house on Angel Island.
The sword of Amaterasu, old Japanese gods, freeing of trapped
souls. That was different, and I know
why. There, then, I was Andrew the
butler, trained to stay calm amidst chaos.
I’m a professional butler. Here,
now, I’m Andy, an amateur ghost hunter and I am trying so hard to find Andrew’s
courage and unflappability, and I’m failing.
I’m scared of this séance. I’m
going to do it but I am shaking all over.
I have maybe 5 minutes. DR is talking with AM, and NB is checking
the video camera is ready. So, briefly,
the morning began with the formal suggestion to hold a séance. We’d all been asked informally and it was
clear that we were all in agreement so I said yes. We slept. When we woke, I
prepared lunch and then AM and Florence updated us on the research. Dr Carver had treated Florentine McFarlane
for anemia and depression. RC explained
how they could be linked. DR said he’d
found another voice in the background of yesterday’s recording. Then RC, AM and DR gave us a briefing on
what to expect in the séance, what we had to do during it and how we should
prepare. NB and PB would sit it out as
observers and security; they went to prepare the Manor. Drake, Carrie, Florence and I went for a
walk. It was a lovely day. Hard to think it’s the beginning of November
tomorrow. We talked about nothing much,
more to fill the silence than anything.
Carrie said she was sorry for being so controlling. We accepted it. Wasn’t quite a group hug but we came close. We talked about where we’d go next year on
the ghost hunt. Then it was time to get
back and prepare supper.
At 7:00, we came up to the house. It feels different. Maybe it’s me and, because it’s Halloween, I
expected it to be different – all I have are my senses. To me, it feels alive. Keen.
It feels like Carrie looks. Me,
I feel sick but there’s no way I can back out now. Okay, this is it. Wish me
luck, journal …
It’s a lot later now. It’s over.
We know everything. I feel ..
shaken at the story itself and I can’t believe it’s really true but it’s too
real to be a lie. I lived it. I know it’s true. It’s just that I can’t believe
it. Jack McFarlane .. was me. I’m not reincarnated – his spirit invaded my
body and used me. I spoke but it wasn’t
my voice. I saw people I’ve known for
years with different faces. My brother
and sisters. I tried to kill Florence
and Drake pushed her out of the way so I shot him in the shoulder. I didn’t have a gun but I acted as if I did
and I wanted to kill her. I felt
every emotion – the disgust and the horror, the shame, the pure, undiluted
rage. The love turn to hatred. I, me, I was sick inside but I
couldn’t stop any of it. I sold
Haystone, our inheritance, because I couldn’t stand to be with those people
anymore. They ruined my life. Now it’s over, I can’t look at any of
them. I feel they’re judging me. Accusing me. I don’t know if I can go back to my job. Facing DR, AM, the others .. and them
knowing how I acted tonight …
My God, it’s slowly sinking in. I’m starting to separate out my memories
from his. I feel cold, shaky, like I’m
coming down with the flu. I think I’m
going to throw up. What a terrible,
horrible story .. but it isn’t a story.
It’s history. It happened right
here in this house. Jack believed
leaving, separating, would free him from his shame but, when he died, he was
dragged back, just like the others, to live it out again and again … He won’t be seen because he can’t bear to
show his face to anyone.
*****
Nick is resetting the video recording
so, while he does that, I will record my journal entry for today. When we returned to the lodge this morning,
I formally requested permission to hold the séance. Andrew agreed. I asked
early because we would need the afternoon to prepare both mentally and
physically. We could begin thinking
about it while we slept. The mood in
the lodge when we woke was a mixed bag.
People were somber but purposeful, and there was an element of
restrained excitement as well as genuine fear.
I considered all those to be healthy signs that they were approaching it
with the necessary caution. Séances are
serious business, not something to be undertaken lightly and especially so on
Halloween night. We ate lunch while
Alex and Florence updated us on the research. Alex had finally broken into the database in the early hours, just
as she had predicted she would, and they had used their remaining time to
examine each medical record for the McFarlanes. There was no record of anyone being treated for a gunshot wound, which
I found intriguing, and Florentine McFarlane was diagnosed with anemia and
depression. I began to see a light
shining dimly in the darkness of my ignorance.
This one small piece of information turned me in the right
direction. Now all I needed to know
were the fine details and those I hoped to gain during the séance.
I gave my own results – I had found
another voice in the background of the laughing tape. Too faint to make out words but the tone of voice .. is
strange. It does not appear to be sharing
the woman’s obvious joie de vivre.
Bearing in mind the fact that a gun
had been fired at some point, I asked Nick and Peri to sit outside the
circle. I wanted not only impartial
observers but also 2 strong personalities able to break it up should it slip
out of control. I also wanted the
proceedings video taped. They left to
set up the library in the Manor. Alex,
Rachel and I briefed Andrew and the others on the preparation they should do,
what was involved in a séance, the practicalities, and what could happen during
the séance. They listened but I don’t
know if they truly understood all we were saying. They went outside when we’d finished. Rachel and Alex remained for a while and we discussed what we
wanted to learn from these spirits should they agree to speak to us. Obviously, we want the various noises
explained. We want to know why they
decided to sell and leave, and, when they died, what forced them back. We also debated the various strengths and
weaknesses of Andrew’s friends, if they could cope with the séance and the
aftermath. I was especially concerned
about Carrie but Rachel said she believed she would be all right. Carrie was doing it for the right
reasons. Then we parted for some quiet
time of our own.
After supper, we returned to the
Manor. We had agreed between us to
start at 8:00 because we wanted to be finished before midnight. Something warned me that continuing on to
and past midnight would be a mistake.
Andrew, Drake, Florence and Carrie were all looking rather more nervous
as they joined the circle and we linked hands – clearly, they hadn’t
understood the need to mentally prepare.
I didn’t expect any response for around 15 minutes, and I didn’t get
one. The lack of success eased nerves
and we started over. And then, quite
suddenly, 5 of us sagged in the chairs.
Rachel and I were the only unaffected ones. It lasted possibly 5 to 6 seconds then heads rose and they looked
at each other. I saw recognition in
each pair of eyes, and I also saw a variety of emotions. I asked each one who they were – I was
inwardly alarmed at this turn of events as I had not anticipated
possession. Andrew said he was Jack
McFarlane, the owner of Haystone Manor.
Drake said he was Barnaby. Alex
was Clemency McFarlane, Carrie was Charity, and Florence was Florentine. By this point, I had confirmed 2 of my
suspicions. I then asked them to
explain the noises we had heard. They
broke the circle and proceeded to act out the events in the correct
sequence. Peri was the one now alarmed as,
with the circle broken, we had lost control and there was no guarantee that we
could force the spirits out of their temporary homes. The sequence ran: Drake and Florence talking, Florence laughing
with Drake, the argument between Andrew and Drake, Andrew attempting to shoot
Florence but Drake receiving a wound to the shoulder instead, Florence
screaming with Drake and Carrie in attendance, Florence crying alone, the
burying of a body under the library floor, and, finally, the exhuming of the
body and the reburial outside somewhere.
Nick has the video ready for viewing
now so I must end this entry.
*****
Have you ever said yes to something
and really believed it was the right thing to say and then spent hours
realizing it was wrong but pride won’t let you back out so you’re committed and
obliged and, really, you’d rather eat your own intestines? Guess what, journal – that was me
today. I said yes to the idea of a
séance and I truly believed it was the right thing to be doing – I’d agonized
over it at the time – but the thing is the time I agonized over it was nearly
24 hours ago. An eternity. When it became today, the doubts kicked in
with a vengeance, and, by the time it became tonight, I was at the intestine
eating stage. Believe me, I have learned
a lot from this experience, the #1 lesson being always think at least 5 times
before committing to anything. If the
answer’s still yes, then go for it – it’s probably safe.
How I got to sleep this morning is a
secret known only to God because it’s beyond me. I woke feeling sick but I ate lunch. I felt sick all afternoon but I listened to the research update
and to the lecture on preparation, involvement and expectations. In 1 ear, straight out the other, I’m
afraid. It didn’t stay long enough to shift
the dull droning voice saying ‘what the fuck are you doing, Drake? Are you crazy?’ Nick and Peri didn’t stay to listen – I wish
I’d gone with them. Anyway, once that
hell was over, we escaped outside. I
needed fresh air, sunshine, things I’ve never really appreciated before
now. Didn’t feel like Halloween except
for the hollow feeling of dread in my stomach.
Actually, this afternoon was really
nice. Just the 4 of us, and we talked
like we’ve never really talked before.
Friends. Four different jobs and
histories but a shared interest which brought us together. You know, I feel lucky to have friends like
these. Amazing what a good, solid sense
of impending doom will do. Carrie
apologized to us. It drew a line under
the past as far as I was concerned. We
talked about what place we’d visit next year but promised we’d get together
maybe at Christmas. Andy did a fabulous
supper tonight but I couldn’t help thinking about the condemned having a hearty
last meal. Talk had dropped way off by
then. We were all nervous, even the
Foundation people.
At 6:45, we did the walk up the drive
and entered the Manor. I was really
wishing I’d paid more attention to the briefing earlier. I wished there were bathroom facilities in the
big house. But the weird part was that,
as soon as I got inside, I didn’t feel sick anymore. Nervous, yes, but not sick.
The Manor feels different.
Charged. Tingling. I saw the library was set up ready for us
and I wanted to get on with it, get it over with, but Derek had to finish his
preparation, I guess. He’s talking with
Alex right now .. oh, I think this is it.
Here we go, journal …
Holy shit ..! I’m still alive. I feel like I’ve lived another life compressed into 3 hours. That’s because I have. I have not only taken part in my first ever
séance but I’ve been possessed by the ghost of Barnaby McFarlane. I’ve been shot by my best friend who was
also my brother. Oh shit .. this is
seriously weird. My head is totally
fucked up. But I’m alive. I never believe I’d get thru it.
Okay, well, it began with us sitting
down and holding hands. Derek started
talking, calling to the spirits in the house.
Damn all happened. I was
relieved, thought he’d call it off.
After around 15 minutes, I was getting bored and I felt suddenly very
heavy. I slumped down and my vision
went blurred, sound got muted. I felt
like I wasn’t alone in my own head.
When I looked up, I could see faces I knew and faces I didn’t
know, yet I did. They were my
family. Derek asked us who we were. When it got to my turn, this voice came out
of my mouth which wasn’t my voice and said Barnaby McFarlane. While all this is going on, my voice is
giving a very faint, shrill scream in the back of my head. Then we got into telling the story. No, no, we didn’t tell the story. We acted out the story. Man, if I felt sick before, I feel worse
now. I know Andy didn’t have a gun,
but, when he pulled the trigger, my body felt like it had been shot. There was pain and I fell over. I’ve just looked and I have a bruise like a
golf ball on my shoulder. And .. it’s
all my fault, all of it. I’m
responsible for tearing this family apart …
*****
I had a phone call this morning from
the contractors – they’ve finished at the house. I’d forgotten all about it. That’s how much Haystone has gotten to me. I had forgotten I have a new
house. I haven’t told Nicky yet. There’s time for that tomorrow.
Well, Haystone is a done deal. The séance worked. Not quite as we’d expected but everyone survived with their personalities
intact and the possession was only temporary.
I think, on the whole, they’ve come thru the experience quite well. They’re still a little unsteady, a little
incredulous, but they’re busy scribbling in their journals, getting the details
down while they’re fresh .. although I think they’ll have more to add tomorrow
once it’s sunk in.
As for what happened here .. it’s
pretty sick. Not evil. These things do still happen today but I can
sure understand Jack McFarlane’s shame and why he shut out the world. Even why he stopped his family going to
church.
We agreed this morning that the séance
should go ahead. We slept. No one changed their minds so, this
afternoon, Alex and Florence gave us the update on their research, and then
Derek told us what he’d found on last night’s tape, and then Nicky and I went
to set up the library. Basically, Dr
Carver was called to the Manor to treat Florentine for depression and anemia,
Derek heard 1 other voice in the background (a man), and we moved chairs and set
up the video camera because Derek wanted a full record. Then we went out to check the trails in the
woods. That was when Aquila started to put 2 and 2 together. Things began to
fall into place.
We found an overgrown patch set back
from the trail with a small wooden fence around it. Looked handmade.
Amateur. Inside, there was (once
we’d cleared the weeds a little) a wooden cross marking a grave. Again, the marker looked amateur. Nicky and I thought it was for a pet dog or
something because it looked like something a kid would have insisted on
doing. Animals don’t get buried in
hallowed ground and this was definitely not that. We got it wrong. Now I
know what’s buried in
that patch of
ground, I can understand why it looks so amateur and why it’s where it is. You really have to expect to find something
to see where to look. This grave isn’t
something you’d discover by accident or by just strolling past on a warm summer’s
day.
After supper (a particularly good meal
– I think Andy was working along the lines of the last supper), we all came
back to the Manor – for the last time officially. Andy, Drake, Carrie and Florence were keen yet anxious. I got the feeling that, if Derek had asked
for any changes of heart, most would have leapt at the chance to back out. But he didn’t. They had guts, I’ll grant them that. Derek spent some time talking with Alex, going over the details
of what needed to be asked, what exactly he had to do. Rachel was a mobile buffer zone, keeping the
others busy, getting them to write their journals. Nicky, Aquila and I were sitting outside the circle as witnesses,
camera operator and muscle should events go wrong. At 8:00, it began but nothing happened. It was too tense. When
they’d relaxed, it happened fast.
Aquila straightened up just as Alex, Carrie, Florence, Andy and Drake
sagged. We knew spirits were in them,
it was a question of who was in which body.
I was anxious then because possession isn’t easy to control. There are no guarantees that, at the end,
they’ll move out again. Derek asked
them in turn who they were. Andy was
Jack and Drake was Barnaby, Alex was Clemency, Carrie was Charity and Florence
was Florentine. They were watching each
other warily, not really pleased to see each other. In fact, Andy’s face was twisted with loathing and disgust. Alex and Carrie kept themselves aloof and a
little distant. As for the other 2
… Derek asked them to tell us their
story. They acted it out instead. All the scenes we’ve heard, we got to
see. To do that, they broke the
circle. I was alarmed by that. It meant we’d lost control over these
invaders. But the whole sorry thing
came out in the open. They were all
guilty of something – Jack tried to kill his sister but shot his brother
instead and the other 2 sisters nursed his wound because Jack wouldn’t let
anyone go for Dr Carver. Charity and
Clemency helped bury the body under the library floor and then helped dig it up
again so it could be buried in the woods.
They all kept the secret. And
Barnaby and Florentine .. I don’t know who was the more guilty. Him for starting it or her for letting it go
so far. I just hope the friendship
between these people will survive tonight’s revelations.
*****
I didn’t get time before to write up
my journal so, although I’m feeling fragile and a little disoriented, I’ll do
it now. It isn’t exactly strenuous
activity. At least I have the benefit
of past experience to help me thru this.
What Andrew and Drake, Florence and Carrie must be feeling right now
… Actually, thinking about my past
experience and the experiments I’ve undertaken, I’m leaning toward the view
that what happened is my fault. It’s
accepted knowledge that a paranormal experience leaves an invisible mark on
you. It creates channels, pathways, so
it’s more likely than not to happen again.
When we sat in the circle, the spirits in this house must have
recognized that I’d been possessed before.
If I hadn’t, maybe it wouldn’t have happened the way it did.
Anyway, it’s over now. Haystone has finally surrendered its dark
secret. And it is dark. Not evil, just like Peri’s said from the
start, but definitely dark. Definitely
a reason to close the gates and hide away, to end one facet of life and
contemplate ruin should it ever be discovered.
I don’t know what I expected really to learn tonight but I didn’t expect
this.
It was past 4:15 when I managed to
finally break thru the firewall into the medical records. It was a success but Florence and I were too
tired to really appreciate it. We were both
very aware that time was slipping away so we read the records, concentrating on
a specific period, as fast as we could.
We got some information but it was terse and had hardly any meaningful
detail. Then it was time to pack up and
get back to the lodge.
There, over breakfast, Derek raised
the question of a séance. They’d all
been primed, it was on their minds.
Andrew said yes. He couldn’t
really say no. We slept. Florence seemed restless but I was tired and
I don’t even remember drifting off. We
woke earlier than usual, around 1:30.
There was a lot to get done this afternoon. After lunch, Florence and I presented our last update and passed
on the information we’d acquired.
Florentine was the only McFarlane patient in the 18 months prior to the
Manor being sold and it was for depression and anemia. It didn’t tell me anything but Rachel had a
few ideas. Then Derek told us what he’d
learned from the laughing tape. A man’s
voice in the background. A murmur. Once we get all these recordings back home,
we’ll be able to crosscheck them with the video of tonight’s séance. Finally, Derek, Rachel and I talked thru
with Andrew and the others what they should expect, what they had to do and how
to prepare for it. They paid attention
but their expressions were a little frozen.
I think nerves were getting the upper hand. They decided to go out and do their prep in the garden. Nick and Peri had already left to get the
library set up for us. After Derek,
Rachel and I discussed what we would do, I went to my room and meditated for a
couple of hours.
After supper, we came back to the
Manor. A haunted house on Halloween
night. It felt alive this evening and,
now it’s past midnight, that feeling’s gone.
It feels like an empty house now.
A shell. Maybe we’ve done enough
here to end the haunting. I’d like to
come back in a year’s time to find out.
Derek and I spoke at length before the
séance started, going over the questions we needed answering, but sometimes
it’s hard to keep things on track and on schedule. Once the spirits come, they tend to rule the proceedings. We can only guide.
At 8:00, we joined the circle. Nick and Peri sat outside. I was grateful for that. I think I had a premonition that things
wouldn’t go exactly to plan. For nearly
20 minutes, nothing happened. Drake and
Florence were tense. Carrie was more
relaxed but concentrating too hard.
Andrew looked ill. Then, maybe
because they thought Derek would abandon it, they relaxed and it happened very
quickly. I was aware that I wasn’t
alone and I surrendered control to the other person. When Derek asked who I was, I replied Clemency McFarlane. Andrew and Drake were Jack and Barnaby,
Florence was Florentine and Carrie was the last sister Charity. He asked us to explain the sounds we’d
heard. We acted them out in the correct
sequence. A dark story of love, hate,
and tragedy, shame and horror.
All the McFarlanes were guilty of
contributing something but it’s Jack I feel for the most. Florentine is without a doubt a tragic figure,
but Jack was innocent. He didn’t know
until it was way too late to stop it.
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