Shit, where do I start today? So much has happened … The one place I felt truly safe isn’t safe
anymore.
Okay, Drake, start at the
beginning. We left the Manor at 6:00
and came back to the lodge. We were all
still occupied with our own thoughts but I did notice Rachel and Carrie talking
like 2 regular people. I’ve never seen
Carrie be so human before. She looks
different, not so starched. Her voice
is softer too. I think I could like
this Carrie. Anyway, we had breakfast,
didn’t talk much. Wasn’t much to say in
any case, then we hit the bags. It was
such a traumatic night that we all slept real quick – sleep’s a natural healer,
isn’t that what they say? Well, around
11:45, there was this piercing scream.
At first, I thought I’d dreamed it but Andy was white faced with shock
and I realized it was real. The others,
downstairs, came pounding up and we all jammed into Flo’s room. It was Carrie. She’d screamed. Flo was
shaking like a leaf. Carrie was rigid. She couldn’t move or speak. Rachel took over. Eventually, we got the story – from Rachel. Carrie’s still in shock.
She woke and saw a face right by
hers. Just a face. A tear stained, gaunt looking face. Hovering about 6 inches away. Then it vanished. Hell, I would’ve screamed too.
It means a lot of things and the biggie is that whatever’s in the Manor
is now in the lodge with us.
Well, naturally, after that none of us
could even think of sleeping again so we got lunch at a regular time and sat
down to thrash out what to do next.
Alex told us what they’d found in the library and Flo added she was
still trying to track down Gladys Campbell.
She hadn’t begun on Dr Carver yet but maybe she’d get time today. Rachel explained who Dr Carver was. Then we talked about the crying woman of
last night and it was, I felt, a normal thing to do to speculate whether the
tear stained face belonged to the crying woman. It set Carrie off again and Rachel had to take her outside. Andy said I was insensitive. I thought I was being logical. Peri backed me up. She said it was a natural speculation too. She also agreed with Rachel when she said
Carrie should take a night out from the watch, adding she (Rachel) would stay
with her. Strange thing – Flo was going
to say something then changed her mind.
Nick and Peri went to check the grounds again – what are they looking
for? Anyway, Andy dragged me into the
kitchen and demanded to know what I had on film. I couldn’t tell him. I
showed him, but I couldn’t say it. It’s
evidence, sure, but there’s no way I’m talking like a crazy person. He looked at it .. and he didn’t believe
it. What chance do I have with the rest
of the world when my best friend thinks I’ve faked it?
Okay, quiet afternoon, no floating faces
glimpsed even at the edge of vision.
Rachel did manage to get Carrie to describe the face in a little more
detail so, if any of us see it, I guess we’ll be able to recognize it. Great.
We ate supper then hauled ass up to the Manor. Rachel and Carrie stayed at the lodge.
No sooner had the door shut behind us
when Flo says what she was going to say earlier. What’s in the locked rooms?
I’m no fool. I know why she
waited. We’re here without Carrie. If you’re going to break the rules, do it
when the thought police aren’t around.
Fantastic idea. Nick, of course,
is some kind of safecracker/lock picker so he got to work upstairs. Rest of us camped out in the library. Alex and Flo got a laptop each and they’re
working as I write. Oh, 1 other thing
from this afternoon – they analyzed the recording from last night – no other
voices. Not sure what to make of th
All right, everyone’s gotten their
hearts shoved back in their chests. My
hand’s shaking though. This even made Derek jump (I happened to be watching at
the time). There was this scream –
sounded a little like Carrie. In fact
.. it was 12 hours exactly(ish) after Carrie screamed. Whoa, spooky! This wasn’t one scream though, it was 30 minutes of
screaming. High pitched, low pitched,
long, short, every kind of scream you can imagine. Then it stopped. Like
that. Nick went to investigate with
Peri. He said it was in one of the
locked rooms. Guess what. It ain’t locked no more.
*****
Day 7 of the watch and things are
looking up. It was a quiet morning
after the emotional trauma of the night and we were all glad to get back to the
lodge. Even me. I was reaching saturation point. I am, after all, a creature of action. I talk about Aquila as if she’s separate
but, in truth, she’s pure me. I’m me
with civilization. And we’re both
getting a little tired of Haystone. I
wanted something to happen. At 11:44
a.m., it did. Carrie saw
something. I got the story in full from
Rachel after she’d worked on Carrie.
She said that Carrie told her she’d been asleep and she felt a breath of
icy cold air on her face. It was sudden
enough and cold enough to wake her.
There was a face there, about 6 inches from her own. Pale and thin, streaked with tears. Huge dark eyes, absolutely tragic and
hopeless. Surrounded by lank, greasy
strands of brown hair. Carrie stared at
it, it stared back, then it vanished.
She screamed.
It woke us all because it sounded
totally panic stricken. We raced
upstairs, met Drake and Andy, and we all squeezed into the 1 room. Florence was sitting upright, shaking in
shock, and Carrie was rigid. Rachel
threw us out then shut the door. Right
then, of course, none of us knew what had happened. It was a tense ½ hour.
Aquila wasn’t prepared to wait so she went in to check the room and
reported that there had definitely been some kind of manifestation in
there. When Rachel came to give us the
basics, no one felt like going back to bed.
This information kick started us and horrified Drake, and, to a degree,
Andy and Florence as well. The lodge is
their little home from home. Suddenly,
it’s an extension of the Manor. It
doesn’t feel safe anymore.
Nicky and I discussed it this
afternoon as we went for a run around the grounds. It could have been Carrie in that she’s the only one of them
who’s smelled the stink in the library.
If she’s sensitive, tuned in to whatever’s going on in the house, it’s
possible something has attached to her and followed her back (if it had attached
to me, I would have sent it packing). If
that’s the case, we have to bring this to an end or it’ll follow her when she
leaves. She’ll be seeing that face the
rest of her life. Or, the other
possibility is that the face, the woman, had a reason for being in the
lodge. Alex had updated us all earlier
on the results of her trip into town.
There was a gatekeeper living in the lodge. A male. We’ve assumed the
two voices we’ve heard are the McFarlane brothers but one of them could be the
gatekeeper. If he were having an affair
with one of the McFarlane daughters .. no different from one of the brothers
seducing a housemaid. Shameful, not
appropriate, etc, etc. Nicky said he’d
mention it to Derek for further investigation.
After supper, we went back for the
night watch. Carrie and Rachel didn’t
come with us. She needs a break from
this. We’re used to it, we deal with it
every day. Carrie does this for fun,
never expecting to get a result. This
will either make her or shatter her mind.
She needs Rachel’s brand of help if she’s going to come thru this.
Soon as we got inside the Manor,
Florence said about the locked doors. I
was impressed. She chose her moment
carefully. There’s nothing behind the
locked doors but I couldn’t tell her that.
At least, there’s nothing obvious, to be seen, behind them. That doesn’t mean there’s nothing
there. Derek agreed, so did Andy. Nicky got straight to work. He has a lot of unusual skills to offer the
team. He started with the doors on the
top landing.
It’s almost midnight now and
I have to say that screaming is more
energizing than crying. There’s
something about the raw power in a scream that grabs the brain and shakes
it. Drake looked terrified. Florence and Andy coped but they were
uneasy. The rest of us jumped but then
Nicky and I went to investigate. Derek
and Alex stayed downstairs to keep order.
It lasted 30 minutes and stopped. I have some observations on that – I don’t
think the original screaming just stopped.
I think we were not permitted to hear any more of it. Like a door had been opened for us and then
it closed, and we were outside again. I
think it wasn’t terrified screaming or angry screaming, it was pain. And it was a woman’s voice.
*****
A day of shocks and surprises on top
of a night of despair. God, that sounds
so melodramatic but it’s the gospel truth, I swear. After listening to that anguished sobbing, the rest of the night
was an exercise in patient waiting for the day and earnest prayer that we
wouldn’t hear anything else. My prayers
were answered. We went back to the
lodge and quickly went to sleep.
Strange, but the daily conference on my employers’ performance has not
taken place recently. I was way under
when I was woken so abruptly by a scream that made my blood run ice cold. For a second, I couldn’t move. I sat up but then I was just paralyzed. Drake woke too, just as stunned. Then we shot out of our bags and into the
hall just as the others came upstairs and we burst into the other room. Florence looked like Drake and I had felt
moments before. Carrie .. well. RC ordered us all out. If I had any reason to doubt bringing the
Foundation in, that moment told me I’d been right to do it. Just going back to sleep wasn’t an option so
we went downstairs and I made
coffee. I need to be busy when my mind’s
in overdrive. I feared Carrie’s sanity
was at stake. What we heard from RC
later made me want to start camping outside.
A disembodied face has followed us from the Manor into the lodge. I don’t think I’ll be able to sleep here
again.
We had an early lunch then started
work. Drake was totally insensitive to
Carrie and asked if the face was that of the crying woman of last night. RC had to take Carrie out. P backed Drake’s idea and she thought RC’s
idea of Carrie sitting tonight out was a good one. RC said she’d sit it out too.
No way should Carrie be left on her own in the lodge.
Before we got started on the recording
(I wasn’t looking forward to hearing that crying again), I managed to corner
Drake and demand to know what he had on film.
He refused to say but he showed me.
I looked at the negatives, I looked at the prints. I don’t know how he faked it but it’s good. Cleverly done. I laughed at him and he looked hurt. He swore they weren’t fakes but they have to be.
It was a quiet afternoon. DR and I worked on the recording. P and N went out somewhere in the
grounds. RC came in to give us more
detail on Carrie’s experience .. and it would have terrified me as well. A face, 6 inches away from your own and just
vanishing? I would’ve done more than
scream. I’d have a damp sleeping
bag. We found no other voices or sounds
on the recording. The woman was crying
alone. Thinking about it, it does seem
reasonable that the face Carrie saw belongs to the crying woman but Drake shouldn’t
have said it so nonchalantly in front of her.
After supper, we went back to the
Manor. Carrie stayed behind with
RC. I really hope nothing happens there
but, if it does, RC is one of the most capable people I’ve ever met. Soon as we’d closed the door, Florence said
about the locked rooms. She said it in
a rush, as if she’d been holding it in.
Of course, that began a discussion about the locked rooms. DR had assumed all the rooms were open. I said about the permit, and then I
understood why Florence had waited.
Carrie – even in a withdrawn, stressed out state – would have argued
against opening the doors. The permit
states specifically we’re not to open them.
That started another discussion about exactly what is in the permit and
when DR said the Luna Foundation isn’t mentioned so, therefore, if we were to
interpret the permit in its strictest sense, NB could open the locks without
any comeback, I had to agree. DR also
suggested I forget I said that. NB was
grinning as he went upstairs. Later,
Florence told me that she’d forgotten to mention it yesterday. The rooms have to be locked for a
reason. Maybe now they’re open, we’ll
find out why.
The evening’s turning into a typical
night. Nothing’s happe
A very typical night. If the crying made us depressed, tonight’s
event has scared the crap out of us.
DR, AM, NB, P – they jumped but then they shrugged it off. Florence is keeping very close to AM. Drake and I are huddled in a corner. Screaming, that’s what we had tonight. A half hour of it. N and P went to check.
When they came back, they said it had been in one of the locked
rooms. I think we have to move the investigation
into that room. It’s the room next to
the one the crying woman was in.
*****
It’s turning into a quiet evening so,
while Florence continues to research on the laptop, I’ll take 10 minutes or so
to write up my journal. I feel tired
tonight. It hasn’t been a problem
before because we’ve been getting 6 or 7 hours’ sleep each day. Today, though, it was cut dramatically
short. I woke abruptly and, for a
second, I didn’t know why but Rachel was already scrambling for her robe. That told me I hadn’t dreamed it – I’d heard
a scream. A terrified scream. We met Derek, Nick and Peri at the base of
the stairs and then Andrew and Drake on the landing. It was total confusion and we burst into Florence’s room. I suspect our wild eyed appearance didn’t
promote feelings of calmness in the tension inside. Florence was sitting up and shaking. Carrie though was just rigid.
She didn’t even seem to be breathing.
Rachel took one look and ordered us all out, even Florence. At that point, it looked bad, more than the
reaction to a nightmare. We went
downstairs and sat around, not talking much – there didn’t seem to be much to
say. Then Rachel came to tell us what
had happened. It looks like one of the
inhabitants of the Manor has joined us in the lodge.
I don’t know how this spirit has
attached itself to Carrie. She hasn’t
been in physical contact with anything for it to have chosen her. Anyway, no matter how it happened, we now
have a description of a woman, probably the woman we all heard crying last
night. Again, I don’t know how this can
help us. The information though scared
Andrew, Florence and Drake. The lodge
is their sanctuary, their haven, a place they can set aside the events of the
Manor and assess them rationally. They
feel their space has now been violated.
I find it interesting that, in the Manor, we hear but can’t see, yet, in
the lodge, we see – or one of us sees – but the spirit didn’t attempt to
communicate.
Naturally, they were too wound up to
think of going back to sleep so we had lunch and began work. Carrie joined us – she looked fragile and
didn’t say much during the briefing Florence, Rachel and I gave on what we’d
learned in town but I could see she was paying attention. It’s possible Carrie needs to resolve this
more than any of us. Then Drake asked
if the face Carrie had seen belonged to the crying woman and Carrie got upset
again. It was a reasonable question but
he could have asked in a more sensitive way.
Rachel had to take her out. We
agreed that it probably was the same woman.
When Rachel returned, alone, she said that Carrie would be sitting
tonight out and that she’d stay with her.
I thought Florence was going to argue about it but she didn’t say
anything.
Then we began the daily grind of
researching. Florence is starting with
Gladys Campbell. She’s becoming more
proficient every day so I’m free to use the other computer and assist
elsewhere. Derek and Andrew listened to
the recording made of the crying woman and determined there are no background
voices or sounds. She cried alone. That’s almost as tragic as hearing her.
After supper, we returned to the Manor
and that’s when Florence spoke up.
That’s when I understood why she hadn’t spoken up before. She hadn’t been about to argue Carrie’s
sitting tonight out; she had been about to ask if we could open the locked
doors. At first, no, I didn’t
understand. I knew about the locked
doors but Andrew explained there were some doors locked and that the permit
states they aren’t to be opened. Carrie
is the holder of the permit. Carrie,
even traumatized, would have refused permission to have the doors
unlocked. She might even have grasped
that as a lifeline. It’s normal,
routine, something she can understand.
A brief legal technicality discussion ensued which ended with Nick going
to unlock the doors. We’re not listed
on the permit so it doesn’t apply to us.
I do wonder though why it was stipulated and by whom? The Jessop family never lived here. Were the same doors locked during all the
tenancies? Could it have been a
condition of the sale of Haystone, made by Jack McFarlane? That’s something I’ll have to look int
It’s a lot later now. I had to stop for an hour at least. There’s been a ½ hour of screaming from
upstairs. Derek and I wanted to go but
there was no way we could leave Andrew and the others. I don’t say we prevented a riot but we had
to be there to prevent an exodus.
Tomorrow is going to be interesting.
Analyzing this recording might answer a lot of questions.
*****
Haystone Manor has to be one of the
most intriguing puzzles I’ve ever had to unravel. I find it incredibly restful in that I’m not rushing from one
place to another and incredibly energizing in that I am having to think hard
and reason my way thru all the events, their effects and their peripheral
consequences. Today, we had our 1st
ever incident in the lodge. I am not
surprised by that. The Manor is the
focus but it is not all the estate. The
lodge is very much a part of that, and the McFarlanes, while apparently living
as recluses, behind the estate walls and gate, did not seclude themselves in
the Manor. Within the estate walls, life
continued as normal, therefore they would have had reason to visit the
lodge. What I do find surprising is
that it’s taken so long to manifest itself.
I am not surprised that it has chosen Carrie either, although the extent
of her reaction concerns me. Still, if
this is the first time she has experienced something like this, perhaps it is
understandable. I’m grateful that
Rachel is here to take charge of the immediate aftermath.
The incident this morning stole what
remained of our rest period so we decided to make an earlier than usual start
to the day. After lunch, Alex, Florence
and Rachel detailed their findings from their trip into town. I am intrigued by the knowledge that, some
15 months before the sale of the estate, life changed so dramatically for Jack
McFarlane. It falls within the 4 year
period we are examining. It appears the
family was never outgoing although they were seen out and about, yet, rather
abruptly, it all ended. The gates were
closed and they were not seen again until the day they left. That must surely be the one incident upon
which the rest hinges. Is that the time
when one brother learned of the other’s scandalous behavior? Is it the time the shot was fired and,
possibly, someone was killed?
Florence is looking into Gladys
Campbell’s history to see if she has a part to play here. She is also going to see if she can find any
of Dr Carver’s medical records for the family.
I believe those will be illuminating if we can gain access to them.
Carrie was with us during these
discussions and she appeared to have regained her composure. Unfortunately, Drake asked a question which
reminded her of her ordeal and she had to leave. It does seem logical that the face Carrie saw is that of the
woman heard crying. Andrew and I
analyzed the recording of that during the afternoon. As Florence has become more proficient with the laptop, so Andrew
is more capable of working alone. I’m
hopeful that, within a day or so, Alex and I will be free to conduct a
different type of investigation in the Manor.
The recording revealed nothing new which surprised me. Nick had mentioned that one of the reasons
she might have been crying so wretchedly was because her mother had died. If so, we could reasonably have expected to
hear other sounds of crying, other voices attempting to comfort. We didn’t, therefore we must assume that she
was alone with her torment. I rather
doubt we are listening to Gladys Campbell.
She would have cried like that only in her own house, not in the Manor
surrounded by the ruins of 2 love affairs gone wrong.
After we had supper, Rachel and Carrie
remained in the lodge while the rest of us returned to the house. Florence remarked about the locked
doors. Andrew explained that the permit
giving them access to the estate specifies the locked doors must remain
locked. A small discussion ensued about
the legal implications. If a thorough
investigation is to be made in this house, all parts of it must be accessible
to us. As we are not specifically
listed on the permit, I saw no reason for it to apply to us and ordered Nick to
unlock the doors. If a chance presents
itself later, I will inspect the rooms.
So far tonight, it has been without inciden
I should have been a little slower in
my writing. There has, in fact, been
another incident. It took place about
an hour ago. Without warning, there was
screaming coming from upstairs. It made
us all jump quite badly. Nick and Peri
went to investigate the location and remained there for the entire 30 minutes
of the performance. He has since
related that it happened within one of the previously locked rooms but, as we
have come to expect, there was nothing to see.
He also mentioned that the voice we have heard on the recording could
belong to the gatekeeper. An illicit
romance between him and a McFarlane daughter.
It’s worth checking out so I’ll pass it on to Alex. As for tonight, we have more aftermath to
deal with. Drake, Florence and Andrew
are not very happy at the moment. I
hope it has been quieter in the lodge.
*****
Oh, today I have been a very bad
person. But for all the best
reasons. And, really, my very small
confession can’t begin to overshadow what Carrie’s been thru. Or me, for that. I was in the same room, after all, but I didn’t see it. I was asleep. Suddenly, there was this sound which just ripped thru me. One second, I was fast asleep, the next I’m
bolt upright in my bag, shaking like a leaf, and wondering what the hell is
going on. Almost the next thing I knew,
the door comes flying open and everyone else is in our room. That really wasn’t so bad because maybe I’d
start to find out what was happening.
But, no. I was ordered out of my
room. I was going to argue about it but
Rachel had sounded so in control that my mind switched off and my brain took
over. I was thinking fuddled thoughts
about ‘so much for asking us and advising us’, and then I looked back at
Carrie, and I understood. She looked
like she was having a seizure. I felt
mean. Rachel had done what was right.
We went downstairs. For all I knew it was an earthquake but,
when they started talking about a scream, I remembered, kind of. Something had woken me, something close and
loud. It had reached into my head and
struck fear into my soul. It wasn’t
till later that Rachel came down to tell us that Carrie had seen a face
floating in the air. I am so
envious! She’s the newbie in the group
and the one who treats it all as a joke, and she gets to see a face. And that’s mean too because she’s the one
person least able to cope. If it had
been me, I’m not saying I wouldn’t have screamed (I probably would have) but I
would have coped with it better. I like
to think I’d have coped with it better anyway.
None of us wanted to sleep after that
so we had lunch and Carrie joined us for the debate on yesterday. Alex, Rachel and I told what we’d found in
town. Derek asked some searching
questions which we couldn’t answer but Alex said I was on it and I would be
doing more research today. I’ve started
with Gladys Campbell and Dr Carver is next on the list. If we have a quiet night, I should get a lot
done. Nick and Peri went outside for a
few hours. I don’t know what they do
out there but they’re always so calm I’m glad they’re around. Drake and Andy had a conversation in the
kitchen and I could hear Andy laughing about something. When Drake came back, he looked hurt. Oh, and I should say that Drake upset Carrie
which wasn’t strictly his fault because the question was fine, but she’s so
fragile at the moment that maybe he could’ve picked a better time to speak.
That was when I remembered about the
locked doors. I went to say about them
but Rachel said she thought it’d be best if Carrie sat tonight out. I shut my mouth so fast. If Carrie isn’t there, she can’t hold the
permit up and say no. I felt bad
then. That was deliberately withholding
information. No one argued with Rachel
so we all got down to work. Derek and
Andy analyzed the crying tape (not a job I envied) and discovered nothing else
on it. Alex looked so sad when they
announced the results. And I guess it
is sad. To be alone with such terrible
grief …
We were back at the Manor by a quarter
after 6, and set up in the library again.
I mentioned the locked doors.
Andy explained about the permit.
We discussed it and, as I’d hoped, Derek told Nick to go unlock
them. He is a man of many talents.
I’m feeling pretty tired now – I lost
out on a couple hours’ sleep today and we haven’t been getting 8 hours a night
since we got here. For a vacation, it’s
not much, but I wouldn’t change a thing.
All these years we’ve done the ghost club, we’ve never had a result like
Haystone. We all hoped we would be
lucky this time but this is like winning the State Lottery. We’ve got so much, we don’t know where to
start. It’s why I’m glad Alex and the
others are here. They
Okay, maybe the Lottery isn’t a good
example. Tonight’s incident was
scary. So far, we’ve had voices,
crying, a gunshot. Regular stuff. Not that scary. Startling, yes, but not terrifying. Tonight, we had screaming for a half hour. Nick said later that it came from one of the
previously locked rooms but there was nothing in there. The weird thing I noticed was that it seemed
to start in mid scream and it ended the same way. Thinking about it (hard not to), I’d have to say it was a
woman. What the hell is going on here?
*****
Rachel tells me writing my journal
will help. God, I hope she’s
right. She says usual routine will help
me remember that life isn’t terrifying.
It’s a routine thing. We tend to
fix on the abnormal because it stands out yet, really, it’s very rare. So I’m writing this as part of my
therapy. She also says that writing
down in detail what happened will be like erasing it or reducing it to a more
manageable size. So .. we got back to
the lodge at the usual time and had breakfast.
We went to sleep. We were all
not in the mood to talk. The crying
really took it out of us. I don’t know
how long I’d been asleep when it happened.
I can’t even say what did happen. I felt a blast of ice cold air on my face. It was enough to wake me but not
completely. I’d been way under. I opened my eyes but really I was still
asleep, and I saw a face. I thought I
was dreaming. It was a woman’s face –
tear stained, gaunt, thin and long.
Pale but with feverish spots on the cheeks. Lank, greasy hair. Huge
dark eyes red from crying. And I didn’t
particularly feel anything until I noticed there wasn’t a body. It was just a face and it was about 6 inches
away from my own. She didn’t say
anything. She didn’t do anything. She was just there. I didn’t recognize her. She’s no one I know or can remember ever
meeting.
For a second, I thought why me? Why am I seeing this? And then .. I don’t know. My brain caught up or something. I blinked.
The face vanished. I realized
only then that I’d seen a ghost and I lost it.
I screamed so hard it hurt my throat.
It ripped out of me with no warning.
It was a total knee jerk reaction.
I sat up, I remember that, and then I don’t remember anything until I
felt arms around me, holding me close, and a gentle voice cut thru the fog,
telling me I was okay, that I could relax now.
I blinked again and I seemed to start breathing. I sucked in a long, shuddery breath. And then I cried. I cried for so long. I
didn’t even know who was holding me.
Then, yes, I did feel calmer. I
felt actually like someone had lanced a wound and let out a lot of poison. I pulled back a little and saw Rachel was
with me. She held my hand and got me
talking. At first, I couldn’t think
but, eventually, I managed to tell her what I’d seen. I thought she’d laugh but she was great. She stayed with me until I felt ready to get
dressed and go downstairs. She told me
to take my stuff into Andy’s room and get ready in there while she went down to
tell the others because they were all very worried about me.
I was in a kind of misty daze. She says that’s natural. It’s the mind cushioning me from
trauma. I went downstairs and listened
to the update Alex gave. Florence is
doing some really good work. It’s all
so interesting. Then Drake asked a
question which lifted the mist and I could feel my heart pick up and my breath
started to choke me. Rachel took me
into the kitchen, had me concentrate on my breathing. She says it was a panic attack.
She left me there while she went to tell the others there was no way I
was going to the Manor tonight. She
would stay with me in the lodge.
I didn’t have much part in the work
this afternoon. Obviously what I’ve
seen is related to the Manor and Rachel had me talk about it. The more I talked, the better I would
feel. At first, it was awkward and I
didn’t mention my own thoughts. I kept
to the facts. But then it got
easier. I went over the story so many
times that it put distance between me and it.
The others left at 6:00 after
supper. Rachel and I are in the lodge
alone. I’m writing my journal, she’s
reading a book. Everything’s quiet. Normal.
I feel so much better now.
Rachel’s been really great today.
She
Why me? Why is this happening to me? The face has come back. I
saw it outside the window, peering in at us.
What’s more, Rachel saw it too.
She tried talking to it but it wouldn’t answer. Then it faded away. She says I’m doing well but I’m really scared. What if we can’t solve this and I see that
face for the rest of my life? I think
I’d go crazy …
*****
I had just sat down to write this
entry when I had to stop and go investigate some screaming. Not the yells of surprise in the library –
those came from Drake, Andrew and Florence – but the screaming upstairs which
comes from your guess is as good as mine.
It’s over now and things are quiet if not calm. Crying takes it out of you but screaming
taps straight into the panic button of the brain. There is a whole lot of tension in the library right now but
they’re hanging in there. No one’s
voted to pack up and go home.
Okay, to start where I had intended to
start – after the crying last night, nothing more happened and it fell into the
old pattern of 1 incident per night. We
went back to the lodge and no one was in the mood to talk. Like I just wrote, crying takes it out of
you, whether you’re the one crying or the one listening to it. I think we were all more than just
tired. I know Merli’s been quiet
lately. She can’t figure Haystone out
and the frustration’s getting to her.
We slept pretty quickly, losing the tension in unconsciousness. It didn’t last as long as usual. At just before midday, there was a scream
which hit the panic button. It came
from upstairs and it could’ve been caused by anything. All we knew was it was either Florence or
Carrie. Turned out to be Carrie. Rachel took over and threw us out. Andrew made coffee and we waited for
Rachel’s report. That came around 12:25. Seems we’re not working fast enough to solve
the mystery here because we now have a visual apparition in the lodge. It’s attached to Carrie, maybe, or this is a
natural occurrence. It hasn’t been
previously reported because no one’s stayed any length of time in the
lodge. Truth is .. we don’t know.
No one felt like sleeping again after
that so Andrew fixed lunch and we got down to the day’s business. Alex, Florence and Rachel gave us an update
on their research plus what they’d learned since. It’s an ongoing thing but it seems we can rule out an affair
between a McFarlane male and a housemaid.
We talked over the incident last night and Drake theorized that the face
Carrie had seen (just the face, no body) could be that of the woman
crying. As the face had been red eyed
and tear stained, I felt it was a reasonable theory but it was too soon for
Carrie and she had to leave. When
Rachel came back, she was firm in her decision that Carrie needed to sit tonight
out. No one in their right mind would
argue that one but, for a second, it looked like Florence was going to.
Merli and I went for a run this
afternoon to help work out some of the physical tension she’s feeling. Drake’s been okay today. Quiet but hasn’t been avoiding either of us. Merli said Aquila would check out the cellar
sometime, just to be on the safe side.
Then we talked about the face.
Merli had her own spin on it, something I’d not considered. What if a McFarlane daughter was having an
affair with the gatekeeper? It would have
been just as scandalous, probably more so than a son with a housemaid. In a way, that behavior is almost expected
whereas an unmarried daughter of the Manor with the hired male help was a
definite no no. I said I’d mention it
to Derek for further investigation.
We also checked out the grounds more
thoroughly. We’ve concentrated on the
outbuildings but never examined the grounds.
There’s some woods behind the Manor, past the garden. Rachel said one of the residents had broken
an arm while riding so there has to be trails thru the woods. We’ll look tomorrow.
We had supper and went back to the
Manor. Then Florence said what she’d
been going to say before she changed her mind.
There are locked doors which the permit says mustn’t be opened. Carrie holds the permit. Florence had kept quiet so Carrie wouldn’t
know. Derek and Andrew held a brief
discussion and it ended with me being told to go pop the locks. No one had to be sworn to secrecy, we’ll
just not tell Carrie. Interestingly,
one of the locked doors upstairs is the room next to where the crying
manifested last night. It’s empty now
but, from the decor (which doesn’t look like it’s been changed in 100 years),
it looks like a bedroom.
Then it was quiet again till the
screaming started. Merli and I went to
check it out. Guess what – it was in
the previously locked room. Derek was
itching to get up there too but he and Alex had to stay behind to prevent a
stampede for the door. I’ve heard a lot
of screaming in my life and there’s different kinds – terror, shock, rage. This wasn’t any of those. This was pain. It just keeps on getting more mysterious.
*****
I have often wondered why I need to go
on fieldtrips. I can easily see a reason
for me to be a member of the Legacy and, yes, at times fieldtrips are a
necessity. But not every time. Often, I have very little to do. With this one, it started that way,
especially as Carrie was so overtly hostile to me. But now I’m so glad I came.
The process of reconciliation started
last night. The sound of crying
triggered a deep response in me and in Carrie as well. She changed after she heard it. The hostility vanished. We weren’t doctor and patient, only two
women who recognized something in that sobbing which touched an old, painful
memory in each of us. We drew closer
for comfort. We talked. I told her about Patrick and Connor, and she
told me about her ex-fiancé who’d canceled the wedding only a few weeks before
they should have married. By the time
we’d arrived back at the lodge, we were easy in each other’s company. To be honest, I don’t think – or I didn’t
think – Carrie needed professional therapy.
She was well on the way to healing herself. That was this morning before we all went to sleep. Several hours later, we were woken by a gut
wrenching scream. It tore into me and I
was awake and moving before I truly understood what I’d heard. We raced upstairs, met Andrew and Drake
outside the door to Carrie’s room.
Inside, it seemed normal, except that Florence was shaking and Carrie
looked catatonic. She was sitting up
but she wasn’t breathing, her eyes were wide and fixed. I ordered everyone out. It could have been caused by a nightmare
she’d had – memories and painful emotions had been very close to the surface
when she’d gone to sleep. My first
priority was to gently snap her out of it.
I put my arms around her – she was rigid, like trying to hold a stone –
and I talked to her, quietly, rocking her slightly. Then she shuddered and sucked in a breath. Then she began to cry. She clung to me and cried so hard for such a
long time. Eventually, she pulled back
a little and finally recognized me. I
got her to talk when she was ready and she told me she’d felt a blast of icy
cold air on her face, enough to rouse her but not really waken her. She saw a face close to hers. Tear stained, gaunt, pale, surrounded by
lank, greasy hair. A woman’s face. She’d thought she was dreaming but then it
vanished and she’d screamed.
After that, we were definitely doctor
and patient. Carrie had an armored
shell which had broken down. She was
emotionally frail and this incident had truly shaken her. She was almost acting like a scared child,
needing to be told or reminded what to do.
I sent her into Andrew’s room to get dressed – I didn’t want her to be
alone in her bedroom – while I went downstairs to reassure the others. The revelation that Carrie had seen a ghost
here unsettled Andrew, Drake and Florence, and no one was thinking of going
back to sleep so we had lunch and began work.
Carrie joined us because she has to see life goes on, no matter our
personal traumas. Routine, regular
events are essential to shift the mind back on track and away from fixating on
the unusual. It was going well until
Drake spoke incautiously and put us back almost to square 1. I took Carrie into the kitchen and set her
on some breathing exercises. While she
did that, I told the others there was no way she was going to the Manor
tonight. I did nothing on the research
and I kept Carrie away from the crying tape analysis. We went for a walk outside and I got her to talk it over again
and again.
After supper, the others left to go up to the house. Carrie and I stayed in the lodge. I got her to write her journal entry – again, it’s a kind of therapy. Putting it down on paper, in detail, means the mind doesn’t have to keep going over it, embedding the fine detail into the memory. Writing it is like drawing a line under it – it’s happened, now let’s move on. I read for a while and then, while Carrie was writing, the face returned. My reaction was one of shock but I couldn’t let Carrie see that. It would’ve undone all the work. So I was calm, collected. I studied the face and she’d given a very accurate description of it. It was outside the lounge window. I went up to the window, tried speaking with it, but it turned away and faded into the night.
I sat down with Carrie and reassured
her but I can see she’s scared. I think
she believes this is going to be with her for the rest of her life. It means we have to solve this mystery
because, if we don’t, Carrie Hess might well be right.
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