Chapter 2

Bert

 

 

          Andrew knocked politely on the open study door and Derek looked round with desperately eager eyes.  What a strange reaction, Andrew thought.

          “Dr Rayne, just to let you know breakfast is ready in the dining room.”

          “Thank you, Andrew.”

          Andrew withdrew.  Derek turned to face his visitor again and opened his mouth to speak.

          “Breakfast?  Oh, great, yeah.  I’ve love to accept.  Man, I left LA so early this morning and the drive up here .. boring is an exaggeration.  I’m starved.  Which way is the dining room?”

          Derek wondered if it would be safe to actually say something.

          “Will I get to meet the others in your team?  Gee, I hope so.  I really need to start getting a feel for what goes on here an’ to learn more about the people who actually do it.”

          “Mr Burko!” Derek cut in.

          “No need to shout, dude,” Bert said, sounding mortally wounded.

          Derek let out a studied breath.  “I apologize if it seemed like I was shouting.  It was not my intent.”

          “Your guy said something about breakfast ..?”

          Derek surrendered.  He might be completely in the dark about who this visitor was and why he was here, and, more importantly, how soon he would be leaving, but Derek was a gracious host.  He could offer the man breakfast, hopefully ask some questions because Bert Burko had to stop talking while he ate, and then, politely and firmly, escort him to the front door.

          “This way,” Derek said.

          And, if he failed to take the hint, Nick was on hand to .. gently reinforce it.  With that thought in his mind, Derek felt a little of his equilibrium return to him.

          He led the way from the study to the dining room and it was as if Derek had grown eyes in the back of his head because he knew Bert wasn’t just looking around, he was really looking around.  He was studying things and making mental notes.  And Derek didn’t know why.  Oh, he’d been told some information but none of it made any sense to him.

          “In here,” Derek gestured.  “Help yourself.”

          “This is one hell of a classy set-up, I have to tell ya.  That guy – Andrew? – is he for real?”

          “Andrew is our butler, yes,” Derek cautiously confirmed.

          “Right.  Butler.”  Bert’s eyes narrowed.  “No contract, just as needed.  Sure, we can work that.”

          Alex came in and halted at the sight of a visitor so early.  She glanced at Derek, her eyebrows rising in invitation, but Derek quickly shook his head.

          Bert was piling food on his plate as if he worshipped at the same altar as Nick Boyle.  Once he thought he had enough, he turned to the table.

          “Can I sit anywhere .. or is there a hierarchy?”

          “Anywhere,” Derek began, “exc – ”

          “Great,” Bert said and sat in Derek’s place at the head of the table.

          Rachel entered, pulled up, looked to Derek, received the same response from him as Alex had, and silently went to get her own breakfast.

          Bert was methodically spearing, pushing and chewing, and, at the same time, studying the room.  So far he hadn’t said anything to Alex or Rachel even though he’d noticed them.  Gradually, they joined him at the table and Bert nodded at them, smiling quickly.

          Finally, and in a hurry, Nick came in, saw the back of a strange head, narrowed his eyes suspiciously and went to start heaping food on a plate.

          “Is this everyone?” Bert inquired as Nick sat down.  “Is this your team?”

          Derek swallowed what he’d been eating and put down his fork.  “Everyone, this is Mr Bert Burko.  Yes, Mr Burko, this is my team.  Alex Moreau, Dr Rachel Corrigan, and Nick Boyle.  Mr Burko has only just arrived from Los Angeles and I am still waiting to discover why he is here.”

          That, accurately and succinctly, told them to not say a word.

          “Well, I did tell you, Dr Rayne.”

          “Now we are here, enjoying breakfast, perhaps you’d care to tell us all,” Derek suggested, and hastily added, “from the beginning this time.”

          “Sure, no problem.”  Bert sipped his coffee.  “Well .. like you know, I’m Bert Burko but my friends call me Buck.  I want you to think of yourselves as my friends.  I’m an Associate Producer with Quadrangle, a TV production company.”  He forked scrambled eggs into his mouth, chewed blissfully for a moment, swallowed, and went on.  “Our research department did some surfing on the Net and found your site.  The Luna Foundation.  Great name.  Love it.”

          Merlin entered at this point and went thru the same routine as the others, and, like the others, said nothing.

          “Can I ask why?” Alex ventured.  “Are you having problems of some kind ..?”

          Bert looked blankly at her then burst out laughing.  “Hell, no!  No.  Do you watch TV?”

          Alex slowly shook her head.  “Not regularly, no.  The occasional documentary, I guess.”

          “Shame on you!  Well, let me explain.  There are lots of shows on TV now which focus on the supernatural.  Buffy, The Vampire Slayer is a prime example.  Psi Factor.  People eat this stuff.  It has great opportunities for drama, horror – provided it’s done tastefully and won’t upset the censor, and human interest.  Not to mention comedy.  Again, I cite Buffy as an example.  So my company has decided to do a pilot for a new show.”

          They nodded politely, still none the wiser as to why he was here.

          “All the really great TV shows have a ‘the’ in the title.  The X-Files.  Buffy, The Vampire Slayer,” Bert blithely continued.  “So our working title is Spirits – The Inheritance.  It’s about a group of people who investigate .. haunted houses, poltergeists, even devils an’ demons.”

          The expressions of polite interest were starting to freeze.

          “So we have to research what actually goes on in a real-life team.  Hence the search on the Net.  When we found the Luna Foundation has a base in San Francisco, just up the coast a ways from LA, you got to be our research material.  I’m here to .. check you out, hang with you for a few days, sit in on your discussions an’ your work, ask some questions, take pictures, and make lots an’ lots of notes.”

          Slowly, they looked to Derek for a lead as to how to react.

          “I see,” Derek murmured.

          “Of course, we will acknowledge your assistance in the credits as ‘technical consultants’,” Bert added.  “So far, what I’ve seen is really fabulous.  An island in the Bay, what a superb location!  This house – just terrific.  The chopper on the lawn – that says money to me.  And a nice mix of people.  Two guys, two girls.  I take it you both pull a full workload here an’ you’re not just for decoration?”

          Rachel managed not to choke on that.  “Alex and I are full members of the team.”

          Merlin chose that moment to sit down next to Nick.  Bert blinked because he hadn’t heard her come in.

          “It’s okay,” she said sweetly.  “I don’t upset the mix because I’m not a member of the team.”

          “Oh.  What do you do here?” he asked.

          “I provide sexual relief.”

          Bert did choke on that.  “Sex .. sexual relief?” he gasped.  “For .. everyone?”

          “Just this guy here,” Merlin said, leaning closer to Nick and running a lazy hand up his thigh.

          “Peri’s my wife,” Nick explained, his voice a little thick as he caught her hand before she could do serious damage.

          “And she helps with the research we do,” Derek added.

          “Oh, I see.  Right.  So .. there’s four people in the group, plus a wife to help out.”

          “Basically,” Derek reluctantly said, “yes.”

          “Fabulous!  Four regulars plus two as needed, the wife an’ the butler.  Guest stars each week.  Some fantastic special effects for the ghosts an’ stuff.  I tell ya, we are raring to go.”

          Derek hesitated, aware of Bert’s beaming face at the opposite end of the table and the four mildly accusing faces also turned toward him.

          “Mr Burko – ”

          “Please, call me Buck.”

          “Buck,” Derek amended, “I can appreciate why – ”

          “Dr Rayne – can I call you Derek?  Derek, we have cleared this entire project with your London office.”

          Merlin’s lips pursed.  ‘No, he hasn’t,’ she mouthed to Derek.

          “How long do you intend being here to .. check us out?” Derek inquired, and Rachel’s and Alex’s eyes widened in instant bewilderment, and Nick frowned in immediate concern.

          “Say .. four days initially.  Maybe a follow-up in a month or so if I’ve missed anything.”

          “And you say .. London has cleared this.”

          “Absolutely,” Bert lied cheerfully.

          “I’ll have to confirm with them,” Derek mildly remarked.

          “Okay,” Bert said, sounding less sure.  “In the meantime, why don’t I go unpack my stuff from the car an’ take a look round the grounds?”

          “Of course.  By all means,” Derek agreed.

          “Real nice meeting you all,” Bert said as he rose.  “I just know we are going to get along famously.”

          Derek waited till he was well on his way before inviting comment, but he didn’t need to invite.

          “You can’t be serious!” Nick announced.

          “It will severely impact our ability to do any work,” Alex agreed.

          “The control room will be effectively off-limits while he’s here, Derek,” Rachel added.

          “Four days is not the end of the world .. but it will seem like it.  I agree with you.  Reluctantly, London will have to .. change its mind.  We can tolerate Mr Burko’s presence for a few hours, even overnight if we must,” Derek decided.  “Nick, Peri, you draw the short straw.  Keep him occupied.  Alex, Rachel, run a check on our visitor.  Let’s see if he is truly who he says he is.”

          “You want us to pump him for information?” Nick inquired.

          “While telling him nothing,” Merlin grinned.

          Derek sighed.  “I don’t believe it will be necessary.  You’ll probably find it more difficult to get him to stop talking.”

 

*****

 

          “He’s certainly come prepared,” Merlin commented, eyeing his bags by the front door.  “Laptop.”

          They found him on the terrace, taking pictures on a digital camera and muttering to himself.  “Great location.  Fantastic views.”

          “You’re not actually going to be filming here, are you?” Nick asked.

          “Uh uh,” Bert replied.  “Overheads are too high.  Second unit will get some .. establishing shots of local landmarks.  Maybe even work those into the title sequence.  We’ll probably do the soundstage work up in Canada.”  He glanced round at them.  “Do you have any idea how much you could charge a film crew to shoot here?  Keep you guys in chopper fuel for a whole year,” Bert said then saw Nick’s expression.  “What?  What did I say?”

          “The right answer, just .. too much detail,” Merlin replied.

          “Oh.”  Bert looked down at the stone beneath his feet.  “My line of work .. I have to do a lot of talking just so people remember my name.”

          Merlin put a hand on his arm.  “Well .. why don’t you tell me about these ideas while we walk round, huh?”

          “Okay,” he agreed.

          “It’s about a group of people who investigate the paranormal,” she began.

          Bert nodded.  “Just regular people.  The weird an’ wonderful will be the things they investigate.  We want a show about the supernatural, featuring a cast of normal people, the kind you’d meet on any street in the US.  Not mutants.”

          “Not .. mutants,” Merlin echoed.

          “Look, X-Men was a really great movie but humans with weird powers like that .. now that’s just impossible.  People who control the weather, can make lightning fly from their fingers, turn into fire .. c’mon.  Let’s live in the real world, huh?”

          “Good idea,” Merlin agreed.  “You wouldn’t want mutants .. spoiling the mix.”

          “Why’d you choose us?” Nick inquired.  “You must have something similar in LA.”

          Bert looked across at him.  “Sure, but it’s LA.  LA is already full of weirdoes.  We want our show to be serious drama.  And .. the Luna Foundation has a serious reputation.  We figure you’ll give us the straight deal.  No crap.”

          “You’re only here to gather information, do some fact finding, right?” Nick continued.

          “The type of equipment we use, how we use it, that kinda thing,” Merlin suggested.

          “You’re not going to use us as models, are you?” Nick asked, coming to the heart of the matter.

          Bert hesitated.  “We weren’t planning to, but – ”

          But?” Nick jumped in, his eyes hard with warning.

          “You’re such a great mix of people.  I’d like to learn more about each of your backgrounds.  Just in general terms, so we can understand how you got into this work.  Then we can write believable characters.”

          “Bert, do you believe in ghosts and the paranormal?” Merlin asked.

          He blinked then stared at her.  “Of course not!  This is TV.  Ghosts don’t exist.”

          “So .. you think we’re wasting our time doing what we do.”

          “Sure!  But what a great location to waste time in.”

          Nick rolled his eyes and said nothing.

 

*****

 

          “Bert Burko,” Alex muttered.  “Twenty four years of age.  Resident of Santa Monica.  He’s worked for Quadrangle for eighteen months.”  She glanced over her shoulder.  “He’s for real, as hard as that is to believe.”

          Derek nodded and picked up the phone.  He pressed a number and waited for it to connect.

          “Hello, can you put me thru to Paul Emery, please.  It’s Derek Rayne.”

          Rachel was watching the monitors.  “Nick looks tired already,” she remarked.  “A sure sign his patience is running short.”

          “Ah, Paul, I’m sorry to call you so late but … ”  Derek paused.  “No, we don’t have a situation here, not as such anyway.  What we do have is a persistent nuisance who arrived on our doorstep this morning from a TV production company wanting to use us for research purposes.  He told us you had agreed.  Obviously, he cannot stay – ”

          Another phone rang and Alex picked it up.  “Luna Foundation.  Alex Moreau.”

          “I hope Nick doesn’t hit him too hard,” Rachel breathed.

          “A TV show about a group of people who investigate the paranormal,” Derek went on.

          “Really.  Can you give me the details?” Alex requested, reaching for a pad and pen.

          “Just .. hard enough to get rid of him without bringing a lawsuit down on our heads.”

          “I feel it would be too close to the real thing,” Derek argued.  “He wants to sit in on any investigations which come up in the next four days.”

          “Well, yeah,” Alex nodded.  “It is close to us but it’s over the mountains.  And you say you’ve heard noises coming from this abandoned property … ”

          “Just a .. quick bop on the nose,” Rachel murmured.

          “Well, that’s very reasonable of you, Paul, but it doesn’t solve the problem.  No, it isn’t for a documentary, it’s a fictional drama show – ”

          “And when the police went in, there was nothing there.  All right.  We’ll check it out.”

          Derek sighed.  “If you feel it would help …  All right.  Goodnight to you too.”

          Alex and Derek hung up and looked at each other.

          “London says he can stay,” Derek stated.

          “We’ve got a case to investigate,” Alex declared.

          “Why do I get a sinking feeling in my stomach?” Rachel wondered.

 

*****

 

          It turned colder and started to rain.  Mist rolled in to fill the Bay and sending creeping white fingers groping across Angel Island.  Muttering to himself about the right atmosphere, Bert gave up on his photographic exploration and returned to the dry.  Derek met him in the foyer.  Nick waited just behind their guest for the order to throw Bert Burko out, and toss his bags after him.

          “London has agreed to your request for assistance,” Derek announced. 

          Nick was speechless.  His jaw sagged open and he stared at his Precept over Bert’s shoulder.

          “Andrew?”

          “Yes, Dr Rayne.”

          “Please take Mr Burko’s bags to a guest room.  Mr Burko – ”

          “Please, call me Buck.”

          “Buck,” Derek said with great forbearance, “you must be fatigued after your long journey.  I suggest you use the time to rest and refresh yourself.  Then you can join us for lunch and we will .. bring you up to speed on what we do here.”

          “Okay.  Thanks, Derek!  Andrew, my man, lead on.”

          “This way, sir,” Andrew indicated with the faintest of sighs.

          Nick marched forward, grabbed Derek’s arm and hustled him down the corridor.  “Have you totally lost your mind?” he demanded fiercely.

          “I wish I had,” Derek replied.  “It would make how I feel about this easier to cope with.”

          Nick took a step away and folded his arms.  “Did you call London?”

          “Yes, Nick, I did.”

          Nick deliberately looked to Merlin.

          “And, yes, I am telling you the truth,” Derek added patiently.

          “He is,” she confirmed.

          “They agreed to this farce?”

          “They said four days isn’t long enough to gather sufficient information to hurt us .. and that it may make for more accurate drama on TV.”

          Nick closed his eyes.

          “It gets worse,” Derek continued.

          Nick softly laughed.  “It can’t get any worse.”

          “We have a case to investigate.”

          “I take it back.  It just got worse.”

 

*****

 

          Bert Burko, Associate Producer for Quadrangle, slowly sat on the bed.  He couldn’t quite believe he was here.  He couldn’t believe his bosses had actually listened to his pitch.  All right, so, he wouldn’t write any of it – they’d get professionals to do that – and he wouldn’t have any real say in how anything looked.  But he was fascinated by shows which had ghosts in them.  Had been from a kid.  Usually, the shows he’d been allowed to watch had funny ghosts or helpful ghosts or ghosts who interfered in peoples’ lives for the best reasons.  When he was older, he watched movies with scary ghosts.  On balance, he preferred the funny, helpful, interfering kind better.  The idea had stuck with him.  TV shows went in cycles.  The cop shows.  The hospital shows.  And then it had rolled round to the supernatural again.  Charmed – witches, and right here in San Francisco.  Psi Factor – scientific investigation coupled with the weird and wonderful.  The X-Files – mostly aliens but they’d done a few paranormal ones.  Buffy and Angel.  Vampires, demons, devils, creatures …  Prosthetics, make up, and special effects.  Put bits of each one together .. what did you get?  Spirits – The Inheritance.  A group of people with a secret – an organization, a secret society, which hid behind a front.  It had been around quite a long time .. a few centuries.  They investigated the paranormal, but they fought devils and demons as well.  They used science and psi.  And no one knew about it.

          Bert had made his pitch.  His bosses had gone into a huddle.  Then they slowly nodded and told him to get some more information.  Do some research.  Find something similar which already exists and do some math.  Then come speak with us again.  If the numbers work out, we’ll get some writers to pitch a story line involving the secret society angle.  That’ll be the dramatic fiction.

          Associate Producer sounded important.  It was one step up from Production Assistant which was a smart name for gopher.  Associate Producer was a smart name for dogsbody.  It wasn’t that Bert was given all the shitty jobs.  Everyone at Quadrangle worked really hard.  It was just that .. TV had a hierarchy.  Production Assistant led to Associate Producer which went on to Supervising Producer then, providing you didn’t screw up, you made Producer.  And, from there, the heady heights of Executive Producer beckoned.  Bert had done his apprenticeship as a PA for a year.  He’d stepped beyond the bounds by pitching his idea.  Writers and Executive Producers usually did that and Bert was neither.  He just had a fascination for ghosts.

          Fascination did not mean belief.

          Bert believed that, when someone died, that was it.  The final reel was empty, the movie was over.  It was ‘the end’.  Ghosts, the afterlife .. that was some imbalance in the brain’s chemistry.  It was narcotics.  It was logical explanations.  It was not ghosts.

          He reasoned it this way – if ghosts were real, they’d be on film and not as a special effect.  All the so-called ‘proof’ he’d seen, he couldn’t say if it was a fault on the negative, an amateur attempt to hoax the viewer, a reflection of the flash, lots of dust …  It could be anything.  And, with computer graphics being so advanced these days .. well, the best use for them was in TV shows.

          Bert’s fascination was with the idea of ghosts, not ghosts themselves.   And Bert knew that most people had a similar fascination.  Hence the popularity of shows and movies which featured the paranormal.  They could watch them on a screen as entertainment and sleep just fine.  Face to face with the real thing, they’d run screaming.  But, of course, there was no such thing as the real thing.  He actually felt sorry for the people in this house because they had to believe.  They investigated ghosts for a living.

          Still, it was a fabulous location.  He could find something similar maybe .. or the Location Manager could.  And this was a very nice house.  The bed was comfortable.  The guest room was spacious.  And the hospitality he’d received so far was fantastic.

          The people were .. a little resistant but he’d bring them round.  Bert could talk a storm.  For now, he felt he’d done enough and he’d earned a couple of hours of shuteye.  He stretched out on the bed and shut his eyes.

 

*****

 

          “It’s over the mountains,” Alex said.  “North of here.  About .. three, four hours’ drive, I guess.”

          “We don’t have much time,” Derek muttered.  “By lunchtime, this room will be only available for emergencies.  Alex, Nick, start digging for information on this property’s history.  I’ll get the laptop ready in the library so we can access the database at least from out there.”

          “London really said yes?” Alex wondered.

          “Paul has effectively cut us from the loop for the next four days,” Derek responded.  “We are the Luna Foundation only.”

          “It would’ve been easier to say no an’ get rid of this guy,” Nick pointed out.

          “I agree with you .. but my hands are tied.”

          Derek carried the laptop into the library where Merlin was sitting on the table.  “Did you know Bert doesn’t believe in ghosts?” she remarked.

          “No, I didn’t,” Derek commented.

          “Well, he doesn’t.”

          He glanced up.  “This should be an interesting four days then – for everyone.  Peri, I don’t have to remind you that secrets must remain secret.”

          “Oh, don’t worry.  He doesn’t want mutant humans in his show.  He wants to keep it real life.”

          Derek saw the mischievous glint in her eyes.  “Then I can rest a little easier knowing you will protect yourself and help Nick protect us.”

          “Absolutely.”  She leaned forward.  “Derek, you an’ the others, you’re new to this.  I do it all the time.  Don’t see Bert as a threat but as an opportunity.”

          “An opportunity for what, exactly?”

          “To have a little fun.  You don’t want him to learn the truth about what goes on here so give him a believable fiction.  Invent a past, invent a character, and act it out.”

          “He knows our names.  We exist.  He can check our biographical details whenever he wants.”

          “Sure.  But .. who is to say that, unknown to others, Dr Derek Rayne once fought alone in a house full of rampaging vampire ghosts and barely escaped with his life?  Plus, he writes gothic romances under a pen name.  Alex likes to compose advertising slogans in her spare time.  Rachel knits blankets to send to refugee camps overseas.  Bert has no idea beyond the published facts.  The rest is a clean slate.”

          “Hmm.  Tempting,” Derek breathed.  “But .. the Luna Foundation is real.  We are real.  We can do nothing to harm our reputations.  Therefore .. we tell him what we can and keep to ourselves what we must.”

          “Okay,” she agreed.  “All I’m suggesting is that you exaggerate some things and underplay others.  And I’ll make sure he doesn’t learn any secrets – yours or mine.”

          “Thank you,” Derek accepted.

 

*****

 

          Lunch was a pretty one way affair.  There was an atmosphere.  Bert talked to dispel it.  The others only made it get worse.  They didn’t trust him.  It wasn’t the fact that he talked.  It wasn’t that they didn’t like him.  It was the fact that he was interested in them and what they did only so he could trivialize it and turn it into a TV show.  It was like taking all their efforts and flushing them down the toilet just for the noise and effects.

          Eventually, lunch concluded and Derek escorted Bert into the library.  Bert halted to stare open-mouthed.

          “Yes, it is impressive,” Derek said before Bert could exclaim.  “This is the heart of our world, Mr Bur –   Buck.”

          “Only one laptop?” Bert exclaimed.

          “We take it in turns,” Nick commented in a flat voice.

          “Sit down,” Derek invited, gesturing at the chairs around the table.  “I understand you want to know general information about us.”

          “Uh huh, that’s right.  For instance, you’re a doctor, Derek.  A doctor of what?  Where did you study?  How long have you been interested in this work of yours?”

          “I have two doctorates.  One in Biological Anthropology and the other in Theology.  I studied at Oxford University in England.  I have been interested in this work most of my life.”

          Bert scribbled this down on a pad.  “And you’re the leader of this team.”

          “Yes, I am.”

          “You own this house?”

          “It is my family home.”

          “And .. everyone lives here with you?”

          “No, not all.  Alex and Nick live here.  Rachel has her own house on the mainland.”

          Bert nodded.  “Rachel.  You’re a doctor too.”

          “Yes, I am.  A medical doctor and a psychiatrist,” Rachel replied.

          “Whoa, better watch what I say then,” Bert grinned.

          Rachel smiled politely, her fingers closing into fists beneath the table.

          “And you came to work here .. how?”

          “I .. was involved in a situation I couldn’t explain.  The Luna Foundation helped me and .. I was so impressed that, when I was invited to bring my scientific expertise to the range of other skills here, I accepted.”

          “Okay.  But you don’t live here.”

          “No.  My daughter and I live on the mainland.  She’s away right now on a school trip.”

          “Uh huh.  Is your scientific expertise a big help, would you say?”

          “Definitely,” Derek replied.  “Rachel is not just the voice of scientific reason, she is also a skeptic and that assists us in finding those logical explanations everyone is so fond of.”

          “Great.  Alex.  What do you do here?”

          “I’m a researcher,” Alex replied.  “I have a degree in Anthropology.  I .. met Derek when he gave a lecture at my college in Baton Rouge and .. I was invited to join his team.”

          “And you live here.”

          “Yes, I do.”

          “Isn’t that a little strange?”

          Alex blinked.  “In what way?”

          “This is a job.  This house is a workplace.  These people are your colleagues.  Don’t you find living here .. gets a little claustrophobic?  What about a life outside?”

          Alex paused.  “Yes, it can get claustrophobic at times but these people are more than colleagues.  They’re my friends.  My family.  And, of course, I have a life outside.  I’m interested in social issues and the rights of minorities.”

          “Okay.  That’s great.  Nick.”  Bert looked across the table into the unresponsive eyes and hostile body language of Nick Boyle.  “What do you do here?”

          “Research.”

          “And .. do you have any degrees?”

          “No.”

          “Okay.  What’s your background?”

          “Military.”

          “Uh huh.  So you’re expert in ..?”

          “Combat.”

          Bert studied him.  Nick stared back.  “All right.  Peri.”

          “Yeah?”  Merlin sat up and leaned forward.

          “What about you?”

          “You wanna know about me?  I thought I’d only upset the balance.”

          “Even the minor characters have to have some flesh on the bare bones.”

          “This is so exciting.  I’m a minor character.  Well, I first met up with these guys when my house was overrun with .. these awful creatures.  You couldn’t see them but the noise they made …  It was terrible.  They kept me awake nights.”  She closed her eyes and put her hands over them.  “I was desperate …  I can’t really talk about it.  I’m sorry,” she choked.

          “Oh, hey, it’s okay.  I didn’t mean to upset you,” Bert said.

          Merlin sniffed.  “These people were so good, so kind to me.”

          “You met Nick and fell in love with him.”

          “Yeah, I did.”

          Bert nodded, casting Nick a rather dubious glance.

          “And you two got married, you moved in here, and, now, you help out.”

          “That’s exactly right.”

          “Did you have a job before?”

          “Yeah.”

          “Doing what?”

          “I was a bounty hunter.”  Bert looked up quickly.  “Still am, I guess,” Merlin added thoughtfully.  “When the need arises.”

          “Okay.  Right!  Well, that’s great, really.  I can do a lot with this.  I can run with it.  It’s a perfect combination of characters.  I mean, what do we have here?  A military guy .. we’ll make him special forces.  Army Ranger.  We have a single mother.  The token black guy who happens to be a woman, so that’s even better.  And the leader .. what a fabulous accent.  Maybe bring in some actor from Europe to play him.”

          “Excuse me?  A single mother?  I am not!” Rachel said angrily.  “I’m a widow.”

          “A black and a woman ..?” Alex echoed, too choked with shock to be angry.

          “Army Ranger ..?” Nick growled.

          “Europe?” Derek muttered.

          “Look, people, these are characters in a TV show,” Bert defended.  “We’re not doing a documentary on the Luna Foundation.  To be painfully honest with you .. you guys just don’t have the presence to cut it in front of the cameras.  You’re all a little .. wooden.  The only one with any kinda spark is Peri,” he said with a shrug.  “Characters with interesting backgrounds make for human interest.  The viewers want to like them.  Actors and actresses will be playing a role, not pretending to be you.  Okay?  We clear on that?”

          “Crystal,” Nick grunted.

          “Great.  So .. now I have a little muscle on the bones, let’s get down to the nitty gritty of what you do here.”

          Derek slowly nodded.  “Very well.  While you were resting earlier, we received a telephone call from a concerned citizen requesting our help.  Apparently, there are noises coming from an abandoned property north of here, over the mountains.  The local police have investigated reports of intruders several times but the property is always empty.  Therefore, we are going to look.”

          “Great,” Bert nodded.  “So .. that’s the way it usually happens?  People phone in?”

          “Not usually.  Half our cases come from reports in the paper.  Sometimes, cases are referred to us by local law enforcement, or we are invited in to assist the local coroner.  Sometimes, it is direct from the people concerned.  A call for help can come by many different routes,” Derek replied.

          Bert noted it down.  “Fine, fine.  Okay, so you got a call and ..?”

          “I asked Alex and Nick to start looking into the background of the property.”

          Bert looked across the table.  “What’d you find?  How’d you do it?”

          “First, we established the exact address and location, then accessed the public records to determine the owner or last registered owner,” Alex explained.  “From there, we went thru local newspaper archives for cuttings on the property, if there were any.”

          “Violent murders, Satanic rituals, all that kinda thing?” Bert queried.

          “Yeah,” she nodded.

          “Something that would explain why strange noises are coming from this house.”

          Alex nodded again.

          “Did you find any?” Bert asked eagerly.

          “No,” Nick replied, and grinned as he watched Bert’s face fall.

          “But it’s a routine start to any investigation,” Alex added, then looked along the table to Derek and tried her best to ignore Bert.  “The house is abandoned and in a pretty bad state of repair.  The last registered owner was a Jeremiah Jones and that was back in the early Eighties.  He was a widower, no children, and he left the house to go into sheltered accommodation where he died of natural causes in eighty six.  Due to the state of dilapidation, the house hasn’t sold.  As Nick said, there are no reports of anything unusual or untoward taking place there.  There has been a death – Annie Jones died in her sleep.  She was seventy six.  Natural causes again.  The house was built back in the Thirties and it has only ever been a family home.  It was never a brothel or a bar, nothing likely to have been the scene of fights or violence.”

          “Except the usual domestic kind,” Rachel commented.

          “Well, I guess so,” Alex agreed.  “But there are no records of the police being called to break it up.”

          “One thing you should be aware of,” Nick added.  “It’s pretty isolated and a long drive.  In January, it gets cold up there.”

          Derek nodded.  “Very well then.  We’ll spend the rest of today getting the equipment together and leave after breakfast tomorrow.  I assume you’ll be coming with us, Buck?”

          Bert was scribbling furiously and, at these words, he looked up, his eyes alight.  “Oh .. I wouldn’t miss this for the world, Derek.  It’s great, it really is.”

          “Hope you’ve brought some warm clothes,” Nick commented.

 

 

 

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