Chapter 15

Peregrine

“Is that Perry?” Ox asked.

Miranda nodded. “I’m fine, honey,” she said into the phone. “Your Dad’s taken real good care of me an’ your Mom’s really great. Hold on, I think Ox wants to talk with you.”

He took the phone and smiled apologetically. “Miranda, could you let me talk with him alone?”

“No problem. I’ll .. be by the pool.”

“Thanks.” He waited till the door was shut. “Perry, listen to me. Are you on your own?”

“Yeah, Dad. What’s up?”

“We need to talk. Come here to pick up Miranda an’ drive her home.”

There was a pause. Ox could almost hear Peregrine’s brain working. “Is this about Reuben?”

“When you get here.”

“I don’t know what Miranda’s told you but – ”

“When you get here,” Ox repeated and his voice was stern.

“Okay. I’m .. on my way.”

Ox hung up and went thru to the pool house. “Miranda, Perry’s on his way over. When he gets here, we’ll be having a little discussion so you got plenty of time before you leave. Probably be here another night.”

“Okay,” she replied.

Thelma watched Ox and her daughter-in-law. Twenty four hours had passed since Ox’s visit with Red Meyer. He’d sat alone for many hours when he’d gotten back and she still didn’t know what had been said. From his expression, and his words, it didn’t appear to be good.

Ox went back to the kitchen where he opened a bottle of beer and stared at it. A moment later, Thelma came in.

“What’s going on, Ox?” she asked.

“We got a problem.”

“Is it Red? Is he deliberately bringing Reuben down? Cos that isn’t fair.”

“No, it isn’t Red. Hell, sweetheart, I think Red didn’t exactly help the boy but he isn’t the villain in this. I think Reuben’s unbalanced. Even Red thinks that. He says his son is dangerous.” His shoulders sagged. “What the hell do I do? How do I deal with this?”

“You ask your son for help,” Thelma replied. “Perry knows Reuben better than anyone. If he thinks his friend’s dangerous, well, yeah, we got a problem. Do you think he’s dangerous?”

“He could be,” Ox confessed. “But, there again, it may be a short term condition. Now that Red’s effectively disinherited him, he may settle down. I need to talk with Perry.”

“Disinherited his own son?” Thelma whispered, shocked. “Well, that explains the bad mood.”

“I guess it does,” Ox agreed. “But .. I think I’m partly guilty as well.”

“Why?”

“I told you. Reuben and I talked at the compound. I gave him some advice on how to deal with his father. Maybe I was the one who prompted him into the confrontation. Red says not but I’m not so sure. I think I have to take some of the blame. And .. Red is dead. I’m not. That makes Reuben my problem to deal with. My responsibility. How’d you feel about having him come live here for a while?”

Thelma considered. “I think it’s the only thing we can do, Ox. If the boy needs some serious guidance, he won’t get a better teacher. And here will be a good place for him to .. get over the hurt of rejection. He’s one of us, and we don't ignore each other, not when we’ve got problems. Reuben might find it difficult to cope alone .. so we’ll help him. We’ll be his family.”

*****

As Peregrine drove over the Golden Gate Bridge toward Paradise Drive, his mind was buzzing with trepidation. Not even the worst demon made him this uneasy. He couldn’t believe Miranda had told his parents a lot of bad things about Reuben because she wasn’t cruel. But she’d said something to get Ox anxious.

Peregrine considered that Reuben had recovered quickly from his black fury. He could understand perfectly why his friend had been so angrily upset. Talking it out had helped. It always did. But then Peregrine had always had that support in his life. His parents, Reuben, now Miranda. Reuben only had Peregrine .. and he had withdrawn that support slightly when he married. Maybe Ox was going to yell at him and tell him to be a better friend in the future.

When he arrived, Ox was waiting. “I got you a beer. You’ll stay over tonight, head back to town in the morning.”

“Yes, sir,” Peregrine instantly agreed.

“Library,” Ox ordered.

“Can I – ?”

“Not yet.” Ox gestured across the foyer. Peregrine abandoned his plans to see Miranda, kiss her, tell her he’d missed her and that he loved her, and, instead, walked into the library. Ox followed and closed the door.

“Am I in bad trouble?” Peregrine asked.

“No, son, not you. I need to talk with you, at length and alone, because I need your help. Sit down.” Ox sat opposite him. “Perry, I know you are Reuben’s friend. Just about his only friend, I guess, and you know that I respect confidences. But we’ve passed all that now. I need you to spill your guts. I want your views, your opinions, your beliefs. I have to know.”

Peregrine blinked. “What in God’s name did Miranda say to you?”

“To me, nothing at all. Your mother wanted to know why you’d sent her here alone and Miranda said that Reuben was in a really bad mood. There could be some blunt talking. She also mentioned that Reuben took a few days to recover after visiting his father. Don’t you go blaming her for telling secrets, Perry. She didn’t.”

“I wasn’t going to blame her. I just … ” He shook his head. “Why’d you need my help?”

“Was Reuben in a bad mood?”

“Sure! His Dad said some terrible things to him an’ threw him out, told him never to go back. Reuben was hurting, Dad. But I got him to talk about it over a beer an’ he’s okay now. He realizes he’s better off without Red laying down the law every time.”

Ox nodded. “You ever consider Red felt there was a need for that?”

“To throw him out? Or lay down the law?”

“The latter.”

Peregrine shrugged. “It’s the way he is an’ Reuben’s sensitive to that. He takes it as criticism.”

Ox frowned. “Red Meyer is no different to me. He used to wish for a quiet life. He always knew his duty an’ he did it, but he used to dream about working in his yard, about that being the most demanding exercise in his life. The reason he laid down the law to Reuben was because Reuben needs constant reminders. He’s basically lazy. He doesn’t care for the rules or taking orders. He has to see why. He cannot accept the need for duty an’ obligation. Oh, I admit, he goes training. He’s in great shape. Physically, he’s tough. I’m not saying he doesn’t have discipline, he does. But he’s flawed, Perry. Badly flawed. He has no faith.”

Peregrine had felt his jaw start to sag open during this but now his mouth closed and his eyes widened in shock.

“But … He’s never said … ”

“He probably doesn’t even think about it. It’s an empty subject to him. Faith goes so deep for us that it’s a done deal. We have it an’ we never talk about it. Reuben has no faith. He doesn’t pray. And, for all his physical strength, mental sharpness, discipline an’ training prowess, without faith he’s vulnerable. He has no one to call upon.”

“What do I have to do?” Peregrine asked softly.

“Tell me everything. There must have been times when you had doubts about him. Worries. Concerns. Even mild ones. I need to know. Reuben and I talked during training week an’ I learned that he’s confused. Torn. He knows why he’s here, what he has to do, an’ how to do it, yet he doesn’t see the need for it. He says he respects the Legacy but hates being told what to do by them. He says he’s a Flamefall but he won’t accept being ordered by anyone. He’s a mass of contradictions. How can he be at peace with himself, Perry? He thinks he’s an amazing guy. He learned about himself an’ what it means to be a Flamefall from watching Miranda. Hell, he should know that already. Reuben has a bad attitude to just about everything. Red says he’s dangerous. I think he’s a time bomb. All it needs is the wrong trigger, and he’ll blow. He’s your friend, Perry. We don’t wanna see him cross the line. I admit,” Ox said bluntly, “that I don’t know what to do. None of us has ever been in this situation before so I’ve got nothing to fall back on. But .. he hasn’t exploded yet an’ he’s been in some tough situations. That has to be a good sign. We can pull him back from the edge. Save him before he goes too far. So .. tell me everything, right from your earliest memory of the guy.”

Peregrine took a deep breath and began to talk.

*****

Miranda’s eyes held a light of curiosity. “What are they doing in there?”

“Talking. Making plans .. or so I hope,” Thelma replied.

“What about?”

“Reuben.” Thelma paused. “We’re going to ask him to come live here for a while. He needs some guidance, Miranda. He’s lost his way a little. He isn’t a bad guy but .. he could be better. He’s tried to do it on his own, or by leaning on Perry, and he’s done well, all things considered. But … Well, I guess he’s one of those kids who has to learn by example and hands on experience. Ox an’ I will give that to him.”

Miranda nodded. “You’re scared of him.”

“An’ you’re very perceptive,” Thelma mildly accused. “I’m not so much scared of him but of what he might do. You know him, maybe not well, but you do know him. You think he’ll accept the invitation?”

“Yeah, I do. Reuben likes to have things done for him. Meals, laundry. He says it leaves him free to do what he does best.”

“Well, if he thinks he’ll have an easy ride, he’s in for a surprise.” Thelma smiled quickly and without humor. “Least it’ll keep him outta your way.”

“I don’t mind him coming round, Thelma.”

“And it’s a good thing too. Without Perry, he might have done something terrible long before now.”

Miranda paused, staring at the water in the pool. “I always thought that wasn’t possible,” she eventually remarked in a very quiet voice.

Thelma shrugged, her shoulders tense. This wasn’t a nice subject to discuss. “Anything’s possible, Mira, and for us more than others. Just cos it’s never happened before doesn’t mean it can’t happen at some time.”

“But .. the penalty. Who would risk that?”

“Well, yes. It’s a .. big, mean obstacle and it’s right that we have it slap damn in the way. Right and good. If it wasn’t there, the temptation to use these weapons against anyone would be overwhelming. Think of all the people we could help, for instance. All the bad we see going on all around us which we could stop.”

“I honestly don’t see a problem in that,” the younger woman confessed.

“No, I know that. But .. the question then comes where do you draw the line with bad? Evil? Genuinely, no problem. Bad comes in so many levels. And is it morally bad or legally bad? Or both? Someone in a hurry to get to work and goes a little over the speed limit – technically, he’s breaking the law. He poses a theoretical risk to other road users. Should we punish him? Would he really deserve eternity in Hell? People who steal from stores. People who steal cars. It’s a gray area. And, if we used the seven deadly sins as a guideline, anyone who’s carrying a little extra weight, who feels proud that they passed an examination, who was envious of their neighbor’s new lawnmower, who had accumulated a fortune .. they’d all be on our hit list. There’d be no more working hard to earn a big bonus at Christmas cos that’d be greedy. No .. it has to be the way it is. We have to ignore bad, no matter how slight or how vast it is.”

“It just seems so sad.”

Thelma leaned closer. “They say we have it easier. Or some of ’em do. I’ve heard ’em. But we don’t. We know what it’s like to see an old lady being pestered for money or mugged for her purse or car keys. We used to be able to do something about that. Now we can’t. How is that easier? For us, the temptation is huge in that scenario. Ox, Perry, even Reuben, they don’t see that. They think I’m strange for feeling mad. So I have lost something human in becoming a warrior because I have trained myself to look the other way an’ walk past.” Thelma regarded her. “You’ll learn the same. And the next demon who challenges you is gonna pay double.”

Miranda smiled but it was thin with regret.

“It’s tough, doing what we do,” Thelma commented. “We can’t just .. meet someone, fall in love, get married an’ pray it’ll last. We have to be so sure. Perry told me after two dates with you that he felt, in his heart, that you were the one for him but he would’ve understood if you’d turned him down. Being a Flamefall takes a certain type of person an’ not everyone has it in them .. and that is just as true for those who were born to it.”

“You think Reuben doesn’t have it in him.”

“I think he does, he either doesn’t know it or he’s repressing it. A Flamefall shines with God’s light, Mira. Reuben’s light is a little dim right now. But we are gonna work on it an’ get it up to spec. Now, how about we make a start on supper, huh?”

*****

Supper that night was a subdued affair. Ox was frowning ferociously as he thought over everything his son had told him. Thelma was watching Ox. Miranda, as the relative newcomer to the family, didn’t dare say a word. The atmosphere was so grim, she couldn’t even think of a subject to raise which wouldn’t seem trite. And Peregrine was reeling.

He’d always considered himself to be a reasonable judge of someone’s character and he was having to admit to himself that he needed to do some more work on the skill. Ox’s revelations had hit him like a hammer between the eyes. Reuben, his best friend … How could he have gotten it so wrong?

Peregrine ate in silence and tasted nothing. The bottom hadn’t quite dropped out of his world but he felt empty, drained, like he had no fight left in him. He felt guilty that he had betrayed confidences, and, even knowing it was for a good cause, it didn’t help. He felt appalled that he hadn’t seen any of this for himself. And he felt betrayed that Reuben had kept so much hidden from him. Reuben hadn’t lied but he hadn’t told the whole truth. He’d twisted it, perverted it, used it to gain Peregrine’s sympathy and support. There again, he was a Flamefall, and they lied all the time, even to each other. But Reuben was Peregrine’s friend, and Peregrine felt he had earned better treatment.

“Are you going training tonight?” Ox asked, cutting into the morose silence. “You don’t have to, Perry. Today’s put the pair of us thru a mangler.”

“I said I’d meet Reuben over there. If I don’t show up, he’ll come looking for me.”

Miranda swallowed and looked scared. Peregrine felt it as a knife thru his heart.

“He isn’t dangerous! You don’t have to be frightened of him!” he exclaimed. “He’s my friend. Okay, he needs help but he’s needed help before an’ I’ve never turned him away. He’ll come looking for me cos he’ll be concerned, not mad.”

“I’m sorry,” Miranda whispered.

“Oh, honey, it isn’t your fault,” Peregrine sighed. “I just don’t want you to buy into all the rumors and hearsay. He’s never threatened anyone. Yes, he has lost his temper an’ he can be scary but .. he has never indicated he was close to crossing the line. Dammit, if people are going to assess him on that, then we’re all guilty. Please, don’t start thinking of him as a monster. He isn’t. He’s just confused an’ a little scared.”

“If you said you’d meet him, you’d best go,” Ox agreed. “Invite him to come live with us, just for a while. That fight with Red must’ve hurt. He could use a family around him.”

Peregrine raised his head. “Are you sure this house isn’t gonna be his prison?”

“No,” Ox replied. “It’ll be more like .. a convalescent hospital with extra security.”

“You said it,” Thelma pointed out. “He needs help. You can help, your Dad an’ I can help. Even Miranda can help. Perry, he’s your best friend. We all understand that. But we don’t want him to do something terrible an’ pay the price now, do we?”

“No,” Peregrine admitted.

“Then invite him to come stay here,” Thelma persisted. “It’s the best place for him right now.”

“Okay,” he yielded.

“And make sure he accepts,” Ox warned.

*****

Peregrine waited on the safe side of the chasm on the bare, barren fringe between the forest and the sheer, rocky drop to the river far below. The training ground seemed noisier than usual that night. Flamefalls were already hunting over there. They’d nodded a silent greeting as they’d built their bridge to cross. Occasionally, flashes of stark light pierced the total blackness but they were distant. Those Flamefalls were deep into the training ground where the darkness almost had texture it was so thick. There was a rumor, although it could have been more of a bedtime story, that, if you went in far enough, the darkness was alive. Peregrine had been in deep but he’d never found that place.

“Bet you thought I wasn’t gonna show,” Reuben remarked. “I was out having a beer. Forgot the time.”

Peregrine swallowed. “Rube .. I want you to promise me something,” he said quietly. Reuben went to speak but Peregrine held up a hand. “Wait till you hear me out.”

“Okay. Sounds serious.”

“It is. It could be deadly serious. I want you to promise me that, no matter what the provocation, no matter what the temptation, you will not, ever, cross the line.”

Reuben stared at him. “Perry, what’s this all about?”

“I want that promise. If you can’t do this for me, that’s it. We’ll no longer be friends.”

“I wouldn’t do that! I don’t have to promise, Perry! It’d never happen.”

Peregrine stood firm. “Rube .. I’m not gonna ask again.”

“Okay! I promise. No matter the provocation or the temptation, I promise I will not ever cross the line,” Reuben stated. “Now, you tell me why the hell I had to do that.”

“Because people think you could.”

“What other people?” Reuben demanded in a hard voice.

“That doesn’t matter – ”

“The hell it doesn’t! I have the right to know – ”

“Rube, listen to me! It doesn’t matter. What does matter is you. You have the potential to be great. You also the potential to fade to black. You need help. I’m your best friend. I don’t wanna lose you. My family doesn’t wanna lose you. You have to go live with them for a while.”

“I don’t think so,” Reuben argued. “I like your parents but I’ve only just gotten free of parental interference in my life. I don’t wanna get saddled with more.”

Peregrine closed his fists around Reuben’s shirt and glared into his face. “You don’t get a choice. You wanna be a Flamefall, you gotta have a crash course in the basics of what it is to be a Flamefall. When was the last time you prayed?”

“I don’t pray.”

Peregrine nodded curtly. “What about your faith? Is it strong?”

“As strong as it needs to be.”

“Wrong answer. You are gonna go stay with my parents and you will learn. You said once you wished we could be brothers. Well .. here’s your chance. Maybe not in blood, but .. in teaching, in spirit, in essence. You gotta do this, Rube, or you really will end up breaking that promise. You won’t be able to stop yourself.”

“You’re putting me in jail, Perry,” Reuben said, his voice heavy with hurt. “It’s River Sands, all over again. What have I done wrong? Just tell me that. What have I done to make me a prisoner?”

Peregrine shook his head. “You’ve done nothing. Honest to God, Rube, you’ve done nothing. They’re just scared that you might.”

Reuben nodded. “This is my father’s doing. I can see his hand in this. He says I have an attitude problem. An’, cos it’s Red Meyer, everyone says he must be right. He died the year you were born, Perry. Back then, attitudes were a lot different. It’s the Fifties now. We’re different to our parents. Our thinking is a little bit more modern. My attitude is the right one for these times. Has anyone considered that?”

Peregrine shrugged. “You don’t have to convince me, Reuben. I don’t have a problem with you. They don’t either, they’re just trying to help you. Tell my Dad honestly. Be open with him. He wants to understand. You could be free inside a week. And it’s a proper family environment, something you haven’t had for a long time. Please. You have to do it.”

“You come visit me?”

“Sure! Every day.”

Reuben closed his eyes. “Okay.”

“Thank you. Now .. you wanna go training?”

“It’s why I came over here.”

“Then let’s go.” Peregrine straightened, his expression not particularly pleasant. “I feel like kicking ass tonight.”

*****

Peregrine woke the next morning and felt like a traitor. Not even Miranda’s warm presence beside him could lift the heavy burden of guilt. Every bone in his body ached with it. He tried to use the same arguments that Ox had used, and they sounded hollow. Every time he began, Reuben’s question cut like a lance into his mind – what have I done wrong?

He showered and dressed, and it took twice as long. He stared at his reflection in the mirror and he saw two haunted eyes staring back at him.

What have I done wrong?

Nothing. Spoken out of turn, but that isn’t a crime. When it comes to the job, he’s done everything asked of him. And it is the job which we’re measured against, not the thoughts in our heads, not the words we speak. It isn’t even how we act day to day, it’s how we do the job. Period. Reuben Meyer is innocent. And they’ll try to brainwash him, make him a good company guy. It’s always the radicals who bring progress, not the conservatives who want to keep things as they’ve always been. I guess Reuben’s been a little too radical for the common good. Now he’ll be broken back. It isn’t fair.

Peregrine went down to breakfast. Ox was already in the kitchen.

“He coming?” Ox asked.

Peregrine nodded. “You’re up early.”

“Late. I never slept last night. Your Mom’s worried about me. No need. I’m fine. I’m worried about Reuben.”

“No need,” Peregrine stated, his voice level but blunt. “He asked me a question last night an’ I couldn’t answer him. I don’t have the answer, Dad. Do you? He asked me what he’d done wrong.”

“Nothing,” Ox immediately admitted. “An’ we wanna keep it that way. Perry, I like Reuben. He’s a good guy. He’s skilled, smart, he’s got the dedication. He lacks faith. If we do nothing else while he’s here, we’ll get him to pray, let him discover the power of belief. I think then he’ll be okay an’ enjoy a long, productive life.”

“You’re gonna brainwash him, Dad.”

“No, we are not. We’re gonna treat him the same way we treat you. Are you brainwashed?

“All his ideas – ”

“Are you brainwashed?” Ox persisted.

“No.”

“He has good ideas. Let’s encourage that. He can play a valuable role in our future. But, be honest with me here, Perry. Do you one hundred per cent trust the guy? Or is it only ninety nine an’ a half?” Ox angled his head. “Flamefalls work in cells. Me an’ your Mom. You an’ Miranda. Those without partners work alone. Sometimes we have to join forces, an’, when we do, we trust the other cell as much as we do our wives, or husbands. No matter what the situation, we know without having to ask that they’re there for us. I trust you, Perry. I trust Miranda, for all that she’s still relatively new to this. I don’t trust Reuben.”

“He stopped for you during training week! He got hurt helping you.”

“And that tells me there’s hope for the guy. I got something to work with. Do you trust him?”

Peregrine hesitated. “Not a hundred per cent, no. But it’s damn close.”

“Then you’ll work with me to get him there.” Ox sighed. “We need a united front on this, son. He’s your friend. You an’ me .. we’re on the same side.”

Peregrine surrendered. “Okay. Tell me what I have to do.”

*****

Reuben arrived early that afternoon. He looked cowed, hunted. Ox opened the door to him and invited him in. As Reuben stepped over the threshold, Ox took his bags and gave him a friendly smile.

“Let’s get a few things straight before any of us goes any farther, huh? This is not a jail. You can walk out whenever you want. I’m not gonna force you to stay, Reuben. I’m not gonna brainwash you into toeing the company line. I know you think a lot about the job, what you’re doing an’ how you do it. You’ve got good ideas, ideas which should be shared, not stamped out.”

“Then why am I here?” Reuben asked and the bewilderment shone in his voice.

Ox draped a meaty arm around his shoulders. “Because, son, you do have a few problems. Yes, I have been to talk with your Dad, just so I could hear his side of things. I don’t believe he’s helped you as much as he could have so, as he’s dead, it comes to me to maybe clear your vision a little. Get rid of some of that confusion. Help you find yourself. An’ then, well, who knows? Your ideas could be a hundred times better, even more focused. Thelma an’ I want to be like parents. Don’t get me wrong, Freda is a wonderful woman an’ we like her a whole lot. But .. we believe you’ve been shortchanged in the parental guidance department, son, and now it’s coming out. You wanna talk, we’ll listen. You wanna shout an’ rave, we’ll be here for you. You have questions about anything, we’ll answer ’em. Not a prison. More a .. convalescent home.”

Reuben nodded.

“Perry’s gonna help out. Not every day but as much as he can. He’ll call you if he can’t get here. He’ll meet us over at the Gorge for training. I’ve said it before, Reuben, an’ I’ll say it again – you’re a good guy. An’ I’ll fight for you .. but you gotta work with me. That’s all I ask. Work with me. No lying, no cheating, no hiding behind masks, no sneaking behind my back. I want honesty in everything. Okay?”

“Yes, sir.”

“My name’s Ox. Use it.”

“Okay. Ox.”

“We got several guestrooms but you know that already cos you lived here during the war. Go up, make yourself at home. We’ll be eating supper .. around seven. Before that, I’d like to see you in the library for a chat. Say .. four o’clock.”

Reuben nodded again.

“Go on then,” Ox urged.

Reuben took back his bags and went to the stairs and, there, he hesitated. “Do you think I’m dangerous?”

“I think you could be,” Ox answered. “None of us wanna see that happen. That’s why we asked you to come live here for a while.”

“But .. we’re all dangerous.”

“Yeah. Some of us handle it better,” Ox smiled. “Go on, Reuben. We’ll talk later.”

Reuben sighed briefly and went upstairs. Ox went thru to the lounge. Peregrine regarded him, wanting to ask but not trusting his voice.

“How’d it go?” Thelma inquired.

“Well, he’s here. He seems down. Perry, what did you say to him last night?”

Peregrine hesitated. “I made him promise never to cross the line.”

“Why the hell did you do that?” Ox demanded.

“I was scared, Dad. All those things you said to me .. I was scared I’d lose my best friend. I figured the best way to deal with it was to get him to promise. An’ he did. Rube will work hard, and he won’t break that promise.”

“Good. Well .. you an’ Miranda had better get going.”

“Can’t I see him?”

“Not today. Let him settle in, get used to the pace around here. You can see him tomorrow.”

Peregrine sighed and hauled himself out of the armchair. Miranda silently followed. It didn’t take an expert in sensing moods to know something serious was happening.

Ox heard Peregrine’s car start and head down the drive. Then he looked at Thelma. She regarded him steadily.

“This is our last chance,” he said. “Reuben’s thirty six now. I’m guessing the boss is giving him time to realize where he’s going wrong an’ change his outlook. But it can’t be much longer.”

She nodded. “You mean the test.”

“Oh yeah. An’, right now, he’d fail. He has no faith so how could he pass a test of faith?”

“Ox, if anyone can bring that boy to the light, it’s you. Have you considered this could be a test of your faith?”

He wrinkled his nose. “I passed that a good many years back, sweetheart.”

“The boss’s test, sure. This might be a personal test of the faith you have in yourself. Believe you can do it, Ox.”

Ox nodded slowly. “I have to. There’s too much riding on this for me to fail.”

*****

The days passed and turned into weeks. The cool, misty months in the middle of the year gave way to a golden, mellow fall. Reuben took Ox hiking in the hills of Marin County and Ox, now sixty years old, used the opportunity to point out the natural wonders of God’s creation. Reuben learned to see the simple majesty in a single leaf or the gnarled bark of a tree. Away from the city, accustomed to a slower pace of life, Reuben Meyer began to find the tattered rags of his faith.

Ox and Thelma treated him like another son. They had a lot of ground to make up. Reuben had forgotten the lessons he’d received as a small child in how to pray. Thelma had to go back to basics on that one.

“Get into the habit,” she told him. “On your knees, clasp your hands, close your eyes, bow your head over your hands, an’ talk quietly but out loud. Every night, before you go to bed, give thanks for your life and your blessings.”

“I’ll feel like a fool.”

“Sure. But this is how we taught Perry. When you get used to that, try it sitting on your bed. Or laying down. It isn’t the position, Reuben, it’s the talking. It’s the words. The more you talk, the stronger your faith. Tell God what you’ve done during the day, the things you’ve seen an’ heard. Tell Him thank you for your life. Ask for His protection when you go fight for Him. God listens. Before long, you’ll be praying silently, in your head, at all times of the day an’ night. God gave you weapons, but faith is your armor. D’you see now why we were so worried about you? You could be the most skilled warrior in the army but you were still vulnerable.”

“I haven’t been hurt yet.”

“Yes, you have, and in ways maybe you don’t realize. Faith gives you protection and self belief. When everything else fails, faith will keep you alive.”

Reuben nodded. “I understand.”

Thanksgiving came and Reuben led the prayers at the table. Peregrine felt proud of his friend. He could see a new maturity in Reuben Meyer, a quiet calmness which had never been there before. This came from the soul and Peregrine felt overjoyed that Reuben’s extended stay had brought such profound results.

He faced Christmas and the New Year with optimism and with enormous respect for his father. Ox had done the impossible and Reuben had found his way home.

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