Chapter 14

Reuben

Ox’s words filtered thru and settled in a mind torn by confusion. Reuben Meyer wasn’t a bad guy but he entertained bad thoughts. He worked out to keep his body in shape, he trained at the Gorge every night, either alone or with Peregrine and Miranda, he maintained a strict discipline, but he imagined breaking the rules. He found pleasure in fantasizing about the Legacy’s reaction when he told them no. He smiled when he daydreamed of telling Ox the same thing. It was his safety valve. No one could be damned for their thoughts.

His attitude toward his father was one of derision. Inside Reuben was a little boy who yearned for his father’s attention and was denied. The adult, therefore, had felt his respect and admiration wither and turn into disgust. Ox’s advice was good and Reuben would try it next time he went to visit, but he didn’t hold out much hope. He never had, not after the Thanksgiving trip of forty four. He’d tried to pray, to work on his faith, but he couldn’t understand how one of God’s Warriors could be such a lousy parent, how God could let that happen. If it wasn’t Reuben’s fault, and Red could see nothing wrong in the way he was acting, then it had to be God’s fault. How could Reuben have faith in the big boss when He had faults?

As for having faith in the Legacy and trusting them, it was laughable. If Reuben couldn’t put his trust in God, there was no way he could trust the fallible men and women of the Legacy.

So Reuben was outwardly dedicated and inwardly a hotbed of turmoil and confusion. The only time he felt at peace was when he was with his friend and his friend’s wife.

Reuben Meyer had learned to guard his expression and watch what he said. Peregrine and Miranda would be able to detect an outright lie and they could judge his emotional state just as easily. So could Red, and Reuben had practiced this skill first on his father. He used Red as a role model and became adept at changing the subject but he wouldn’t totally change it, just shift the focus. He hid the turmoil inside from everyone, but, with Peregrine, it shrank and his emotions could run a little closer to the surface.

Watching Miranda learn and train was a blessing for Reuben although he would never admit it to them. It made him see his extraordinary life with fresh eyes. Every time she discovered some new ability or some strange thing, Reuben discovered it again for himself. Miranda was treading cautiously, very aware of the penalty for a mistake. Reuben had lived with that self-restraint all his life but he shared in her sense of wonder. It was almost childlike, even though she was very serious about her new life. Her reactions sparked a response in Reuben’s soul. If Peregrine had shown him training could be fun and not a chore, Miranda showed him the simple joy to be found in power. And Reuben found that he was very powerful.

He’d spent many years in denial, many years yearning pointlessly for a normal life, and trying to be normal. Miranda, without realizing it, was teaching Reuben what it was to be a Flamefall. He was amazed.

Once he had believed the Legacy’s ruling house was arrogant but he saw it differently now. If anyone was guilty of arrogance, it wasn’t the Legacy. They were just wearing a mask because they were scared of their powerful allies. They felt they were holding on to a lightning bolt in the act of striking or a big cat on a flimsy leash. They had control but they didn’t know how much longer it would last. And so they deflected it by appearing to be superior, by using clever words .. because that was all they had. Reuben had been the arrogant one in this uneven partnership. He had taken everything he could do for granted. He had belittled his gifts and, thus, himself and he had blamed it on them. Now, however, he learned that he was amazing. When Miranda made the comment about them being like angels only mortal ones, Reuben had been struck dumb. Peregrine had laughed and said in a gentle voice that it was nonsense, that they were just warriors for a cause, but Reuben had seen the light. It made sense now, all of it. How could he ever be ordinary again? How could he deny what was an extraordinary existence?

From that time, Reuben worked harder than ever to perfect every skill he had. His timing improved. His stamina increased. His understanding of the enemy deepened. He studied strategy and tactics. He worked Peregrine hard when they trained together. By the summer of fifty one, Reuben was a different man.

*****

“You’re looking well,” Red commented.

“I feel good, I have to admit,” his son nodded. “I’ve been finding things out about myself.”

“Such as?”

“What it means to be what I am. Perry’s wife Miranda is learning a whole lot in double quick time. It’ll sound strange but .. sometimes, watching her, I wish I could’ve married in and not been born like this.”

“It’s easier for us,” Red remarked. “We learn an’ grow from the start. Partners have to give up a lot to become like us an’ then they have to learn a lot to do it right.”

“I realize that, Dad, but,” Reuben responded, his voice sounding patient but strained, “in some ways, it’s easier for them. For one thing, they choose to be like this. For another, they have experience of what it’s like not to be like this. They can know the difference. We can’t, and we take so much for granted. We just .. accept it an’ shrug it off. Miranda’s sense of wonder shows in her face, and it’s over something I’ve been able to do since I was a baby. I admit, I’ve been learning from watching her learn.”

“And what have you learned, Reuben?”

“That, as a Flamefall, I’m a pretty amazing guy. Once, when I was a kid, I wanted nothing but to be like everyone else. I wanted school, friends, a job .. but not anymore.”

Red watched him. “You had school. Your Mom an’ I taught you what you needed to know. You had friends – you still do. Peregrine’s still there for you. And you have always had a job.”

“Dad, you’re being deliberately awkward about this. You know what I mean.”

“Reuben .. I don’t know how many times I have to say this – ”

“Then give up cos, if I don’t know it by now, I’m never gonna know it. I am a Flamefall. I am dedicated to a great an’ noble cause. I am one of God’s Warriors. I have to train every night. I must confront and defeat evil everywhere an’ every time I find it. I have to practice my skills. And I must have faith. Have I left anything out?”

Red’s eyes narrowed. “You have an attitude that I don’t particularly like.”

Reuben shrugged idly. “You made me what I am, Dad. I am Red Meyer’s son. I listened to your lectures damn near every day for seventeen years an’ I was word perfect. I’ve listened to ’em quite a lot in the last seven. An’, y’know, nothing’s changed? I don’t know why you feel you have to keep on, an’ on, saying the same things to me. Can’t you talk about anything else? Don’t you have anything else to talk about that I might, even remotely, find interesting? Cos, if you don’t, I really can’t see any reason for me to come back.”

Red regarded him in silence.

“Is it jealousy?” Reuben asked suddenly. “Is it because I’ve managed to reach thirty six an’ you didn’t? If I were in your place, I’d be grateful that my son had achieved something I never got to do but maybe you can’t bring yourself to say well done to me. You can’t congratulate yourself for teaching me all those survival techniques. That really isn’t my problem now, is it?”

“Did I ever teach you that pride’s one of the seven deadly sins?” Red asked in a low growl.

“So now I can’t even take pleasure in my accomplishments cos that’s wrong too.” Reuben laughed shortly and shook his head. “No matter what, you just cannot be pleased.”

Red eased back in the chair. “Y’know something, Reuben, I’m glad you never took a partner an’ had kids of your own. I’m glad the Meyer name will die with you. What I cannot believe is that .. something created in love has turned out so egocentric and selfish.”

Reuben’s face went white. He shivered violently and rose rather unsteadily to his feet.

“I wish I could tell you to go to Hell but you’re already dead,” he spit.

“I think you should go and not come back,” Red replied. “The way you’re going on, you’ll be over here permanently before too long. When that happens, just keep outta my way.”

“Count on it,” Reuben breathed viciously and stalked out.

*****

“You staying for lunch?” Peregrine called.

Reuben was hunched in a chair, his face dark with anger. Miranda was keeping a low profile. The hostility was radiating from him.

“Rube? Hel-lo? Earth to Reuben ..? Hungry or not?”

“I don’t think he’s listening to you,” Miranda whispered. “I think he’s listening to himself.”

“Oh, great,” Peregrine sighed. “He’s been to visit Red. Sweetie, go see my mother. Pack a bag an’ stay there for a few days. Ask Ox to supervise your training. He won’t mind, it may even be good for you to have a different teacher for once. I’ll call you when it’s all right to come home.”

She stared at him. “Perry .. he’s been to visit his father before an’ you haven’t sent me away.”

“You ever seen him like this before?”

“No,” she admitted. “Look, if it seems it’s gonna get violent, try not to break anything, okay?”

“His arm, y’mean?”

“Our china.”

“Right.” He grinned, then he became serious. “Go, please. I don’t suppose it will get violent but .. there could be some blunt talking.”

“I understand. My ears are too delicate.”

Peregrine waited till he was alone with his friend then popped open two bottles of beer and took them into the lounge. The black fury hit him as he walked in. Whatever Red had said this time had caused some serious backlash.

“Hey,” he said, sitting opposite. “Beer? I’ve never known you to say no to a free beer, no matter how bad things are. Reuben .. c’mon. Coast is clear, it’s just the two of us. Talk to me.”

Reuben swallowed, his face twitching. “He said … ”

“You went to visit your father.”

He nodded quickly. “Independence Day. I only go there on the holidays, Perry, like .. he’s open to the public then, never at any other time. He always .. kept me at a distance, never let me get close. Back in forty four .. I tried to .. I admitted I’d been wrong, that I wanted to start over. He just .. picked up where he left off. I wanted a fresh start so badly … ” Reuben closed his eyes. “He is such a bastard.”

“What did he say this time?” Peregrine frowned. It hurt to see his friend like this.

“What didn’t he say … ” Reuben took one of the bottles and drank deeply. “Um .. he said he was glad I’d never married an’ that I didn’t have kids. He said .. he was pleased the name would die with me.”

“Aw, man,” Peregrine breathed, horrified.

“I lost it. I told him I wished I could say go to Hell but he was already dead. He told me to get out an’ not go back. I’ve blown it this time. There’s no way he’ll ever forgive me.”

“Well .. it’s a fresh start. You don’t need him, Rube. Yeah, it’s nice to have a Dad who supports you. But .. you’re better off without him. Every time you went over there, it took something outta you and it was days before you got back to normal. I hated to see you hurting like that. You tried your best .. an’ it didn’t work. That isn’t your fault, it’s his. Let him go. You have a life to live an’ a lot to contribute. Do it on your own terms. You’re not alone. I’m here, so’s Miranda, an’ my family. You still got your Mom. She thinks you’re fantastic. C’mon, Rube, let it go.”

Reuben managed a small smile. “If I didn’t have people like you an’ Miranda – even though you sent her away – I think I’d go crazy. God, this pain is ripping me apart …”

“Why’d he say that, Rube?” Peregrine wondered. “I mean, Red never was much of a talker. Yeah, he could recite the rulebook but, outside that, I don’t ever remember him making a remark or commenting on something. What triggered such an outburst?”

Reuben sighed. “Well .. I was telling him about Miranda. And I said that .. watching her learn was teaching me a new insight into who I am. I said that, in some ways, it was easier for her than it was for me and that I wished occasionally that I could’ve married in. It started a fight. He began with the rules an’ regs .. and I interrupted. I quoted ’em back at him. He said I had a bad attitude. And then it just went downhill real fast. Told me pride was a sin, that I shouldn’t feel pleased about myself. What have I ever done to get a father who doesn’t give a damn?”

“I don’t know. You said once that .. he was angry with himself for dying, for letting himself get killed. Maybe it doesn’t matter what any of us do, Rube. We could, single handed, take on the Devil himself an’ win, and your dad would say we should’ve done it sooner and that celebrating a victory is a sin. It isn’t you, okay? It’s him. He cannot accept that he once made a bad mistake an’ he paid for it. He has no right to make you suffer for his error. Teach you about it, sure. Tell you what he did wrong, yes. Blame you for it ..? No way.”

Peregrine was quiet for a moment. “I’m sorry, Rube, I really am that it was Miranda who sparked all this.”

“Don’t tell her, Perry. She won’t let me share any more if you do. And she’s teaching me a whole lot. It wasn’t her fault. She doesn’t even know that I was telling Red about her.”

“Even so .. I’m sorry. I won’t tell her, if that’s what you want.”

“I do want,” Reuben stated.

“Okay. It’s a deal.”

“So .. as it’s just us two guys .. how’re the efforts going to start a family?”

“It’s on hold.”

“Because I’m always hanging with you guys.”

“No, but partly because of you.”

Reuben’s eyes widened. “Say again?”

“We always tell ourselves to learn from mistakes, from the past, from .. what other people tried an’ what went right as well as what went wrong. Well, Miranda heard about how your Mom got scared after Red was killed an’ how Freda kept a tight hold. She decided, and I agreed, to postpone starting a family because she wants to know more an’ have more experience of this life so that, if I get killed, she’ll be able to raise our kids alone.” He shrugged. “Just a few years, Rube, don’t beat on yourself. She said that, right now, she has too much still to learn an’ she wouldn’t be able to give enough time to a child. She’s right. I don’t have a problem with that.”

“But you want kids. You’d be a great father.”

“And Miranda will be a fantastic Mom. The time isn’t right. We’ll have ’em when it is.” Peregrine paused, slouching down in the chair. “Sure, I’m disappointed but I can see why she thinks this way. In some ways, we do have it easier than those who marry in. We never have to think about .. bad. My mother told me once that ignoring bad was the hardest thing she’d ever learned to do. I could never really understand that.”

Reuben shook his head. “The Legacy’s territory. Forbidden ground to us .. yet they march in an’ put it right.”

“They try. Sometimes, it backfires on ’em. Sometimes .. they really are on their own.” Peregrine drained his beer. “Have you ever seen a Legacy rulebook?”

Reuben shook his head. “No, I never have.”

“It’s thick. They don’t seem to want to avoid making the same mistake twice by admitting someone screwed up somewhere an’ making public exactly what they did, so .. they make a rule about it. Y’know our ‘how to’ manual?” Reuben nodded. “They have a rulebook on how to do things. I bet there’s even a rule about washing your hands after visiting the restroom. That’s too much. They have wrapped themselves in so much red tape that, before long, they won’t be able to breathe. Then one of two things is gonna happen.”

“What?” Reuben asked.

“One, they’ll suffocate an’ die. Or, two, they’ll break free, toss the rulebook aside an’ start over. And, if that happens, maybe we’ll get some of our independence back as well. That has to be good.”

“Yes, it would. But I can’t see it happening. We’ve slaved under their direction for so long, we’d be a little lost without it. Three thousand years, Perry, is a hell of a long time. Who knows how we would’ve evolved without them?”

“Grown a tail or something.”

Reuben laughed. “I meant in the personal freedom area. The Lord knows we could use some personal freedom.”

“We are pretty free.”

“Sure! But .. we always have to be available. We do have freedom, I don’t deny it. We don’t have to work. We don’t pay taxes, we live very free lives .. when we compare ourselves to everyone else on the street. But they don’t have to be ready twenty four hours a day to go into a life an’ death situation. They don’t have to sit by a phone, waiting for the call. They can make plans to go out to dinner. They can take vacations. They have weekends off work. We get one day a year. Gee .. bonus. It’d be nice to .. have time out. Couple of weeks a year when we could go do what we want. Sit on a beach an’ read a book. Drive coast to coast. Learn to fly an aircraft. Something totally different.”

“There’s a new guy at the island, in the Legacy house there. I say new but he’s been around for a while. Son of the father. Kinda driven.”

“You mean Winston Rayne?”

“That’s him. Why don’t you suggest your idea to him? He can put it to the people in London. Time out every year sounds good to me. After three thousand years, they owe us something. And, if they say no, we can always ask for danger pay. Time out would be at our expense.”

“You have a devious mind,” Reuben remarked.

“Not really. I just like the idea of a fair exchange of labor. I’ll put my ass on the line for them. I’d just like something back in return.”

Reuben nodded. “Next time I see him, I’ll mention it.”

*****

Thelma glanced round when Miranda came in. “You alone? Is Perry okay?”

“He’s fine,” Miranda replied. “He sent me to stay for a few days. No, we haven’t argued. He’s on damage limitation. Reuben’s in some kinda horrendous mood. Will Ox be able to supervise my training?”

“Oh, sure! No problem. He loved taking Perry over there. He kinda misses all that. I can see him an’ Perry having a small falling out when the grandkids arrive. They’ll both want to do it.” She rose. “Cup of coffee?”

“Please.”

“Come with me,” Thelma invited. “So .. Reuben’s in a bad mood, is he?”

Miranda nodded as she went thru to the kitchen. “Perry thinks he’s been to see his father. Apparently, he’s different when he comes back and it takes a few days for him to recover. I’ve not noticed it, I have to confess, but Perry says it’s common. Anyway, he believes he can talk him round, bring him out of it .. and, if it’s get a bit loud, I’m better off here.”

“Hmm,” Thelma breathed. “He’s probably right. Perry isn’t above some strong arm tactics when there’s a need. It’s interesting though … Reuben’s not himself after visiting Red, huh?”

“Apparently.”

“Maybe I should mention it to Ox. Y’know that saying about .. what is it? An army’s only as fast as its slowest soldier? Or a chain’s only as strong as its weakest link?”

“Uh huh,” Miranda nodded.

“We’re not like that. Our army is strong because we’re not integrated. We’re separate cells. Reuben is a single cell. You an’ Perry are a single cell, like me an’ Ox. If a cell fails, rest of the army isn’t affected. There’s no domino effect.”

“I understand.”

“Reason I mention that is because it sounds a little harsh, like we don’t care what happens to the others. We do, it just doesn’t affect our ability to function. But, because we do care an’ Ox is .. nominal leader of our little joy club, I think he should know. Red’s had his bite of the apple an’, barring some disaster, he won’t come out of retirement to fight again. Reuben’s still in the arena. If Red is bringing him down, it isn’t fair. And .. none of us can forget that Reuben’s had his problems in the past. We gotta watch out for him. See he doesn’t trip himself up.”

Miranda slowly sat down. “Does Perry know this?”

“He does. Last time, he took Reuben under his wing, pulled him round. Like I told you, he’s a stabilizing force. He’s known Reuben most of his life. Reuben, I know, talks to Perry where he talks to no one else.”

“So .. why mention it to Ox? Beyond the fact that he needs to know.”

“He can go talk to Red, find out why Red is doing this. Red will always be Reuben’s father but Reuben’s a grown man. You treat your kids differently when they’re adults.” Thelma smiled. “I won’t be a second.”

“Thelma,” Miranda called and the older woman looked back from the kitchen doorway. “Is Reuben some kinda time bomb?”

Thelma didn’t answer for a moment while she thought the question over. Then she shrugged tightly.

“He could be. But Perry’s good at defusing people like that. So is Ox. We’ve done it once, we’ll bring him round again. What’s the alternative, huh? He explodes. And no Flamefall has ever crossed the line. The punishment … ” She shuddered and firmly shook her head. “It won’t happen.”

*****

Ox listened to Thelma’s brisk report and he slowly nodded. He didn’t say anything or hasten to some action, and she was surprised. Ox was one of the most caring, most gentle people she had ever met for all that he was a vicious killer when there was a need. When Peregrine had been born, Ox had cradled the baby and wept with joy. He was laid back, unassuming. His sense of humor was legendary among the Flamefalls. Yet, now, he simply sat by the side of the pool, frowning slightly and saying nothing.

“Do you think you should go talk with Red Meyer?” Thelma suggested.

“Oh .. yeah. I will.”

“What is it, Ox?” she asked. “You look like you’re not all here.”

He twitched and smiled at her, his eyes focusing on her face. “I was remembering something. Training week. The second night when Reuben an’ I sat it out. We talked a long while, honey. In fact, he talked an’ I listened. That boy has some serious problems. He spoke of .. the rules, about orders, the whole nine yards. He didn’t once mention duty or obligation. He started off saying one thing an’ talked himself round in a big circle. He told me about his father, how Red doesn’t seem to listen to him. I won’t say I bought entirely into what he was saying because there’s always at least two points of view in any conflict. But he was being honest with me, Thelma, and he is very confused. I don’t think he knows what he’s doing. Right now, he isn’t a bad guy .. but he could be. He has that potential, an’ that’s a damn scary thought. I’ll go talk with Red an’ get his opinions on it. Then I'll have to think about what to do.”

“Miranda just asked me if he’s a time bomb.”

“Well .. that’s a damn good question. We’re all bombs, in one way or another. We’re all packed with explosive power. We just don’t have fuses or detonators which are primed. I think Reuben is primed. He was before, remember? Perry damped it down. But Reuben’s a lot worse now because he’s been training. He’s disciplined himself. He’s worked damn hard. If he blows now .. he’ll take more down with him.”

Thelma shivered. “But .. what about the punishment? Eternal damnation.”

“Oh, yeah, I know. That’s the one factor which makes sure none of us explode in anger. It’s there, always, at the back of our minds. No way we can forget the penalty. But .. before we married, did you ever get so mad that you didn’t think, you couldn’t think, you just .. did?”

She nodded. “A few times, yeah,” Thelma admitted.

“That’s what Reuben’s in danger of doing.” He sighed deeply as he stretched out on the deck lounger. “I’ll go see Red an’ find out what the hell’s going on with those two. Don’t wait supper for me. I may be gone a while.”

*****

Ox took his time on the journey. He was feeling a little guilty. There was the guilt that he hadn’t been over to see Red in a good many years, and now he wasn’t going to see him for purely social reasons. Then there was the guilt that he hadn’t spoken to Red before about his son. He’d let it slide, thinking Reuben had learned self-control and, in a way, he had. But it appeared to be a rather precarious grip. And, finally, of course, there was the guilt that Ox hadn’t done more to help this troubled young Flamefall when he could have done a lot. The guilt was mitigated in that Reuben hadn’t seem to be having problems coping, but exacerbated by the fact that Ox hadn’t tried to make sure.

That was a lot of baggage to be carrying and his tread was slow under the burden.

Red Meyer was working in his front yard when Ox arrived. Ox had never seen Red tend a garden before and it brought him to a halt. Red had always been a no nonsense, straight to the point kind of guy. Seeing him kneeling beside a flower bed, getting his hands dirty as he planted and watered, made Ox pause to wonder.

“Hey, Red, how’s it going?” he asked after several moments.

Red glanced over his shoulder and his face split in a broad grin of recognition. “How the hell are you doing, Ox? Holy cow, it’s been a while. Come on in! This a flying visit or can you stay?”

“I can stay. Garden’s looking beautiful.”

“Gives me something to do,” Red remarked, nodding at his hard work. “It’s quiet, peaceful labor, Ox. Something I yearned for my entire life.”

“Really?” Ox was surprised. Red had always lived the rules, had seemed to think of nothing but the rules.

“Don’t get me wrong. I knew my duty an’ I did it. But .. there were times I wished I didn’t have to do nothing but kick back an’ smell the roses. It was a nice dream to have. An’, now, I can do exactly that.” He straightened and brushed his hands on his thighs. “How about a beer?”

“I’d like that.”

“We’ll sit on the porch. It’s a real nice afternoon.”

“Yeah, it is,” Ox agreed, thinking ‘and I’m here to spoil it.’

Red disappeared inside and Ox went to the porch swing. He sat down and eased it into gentle motion. Death really wasn’t so bad, not when you knew what would happen next. Real nice afternoons, some quiet, peaceful gardening, and a beer on the porch swing in the shade when you needed a little time out.

“Here you go.” Red handed over an opened bottle and sat down next to him. He was quiet for a moment, watching his roses, then he glanced round. “This isn’t just a friendly catch up on news, is it?”

Ox sighed. “No. I wish it was but it isn’t.”

Red sighed as well. “What’s he done?”

“Who?”

“Aw, c’mon, Ox, don’t jerk my chain. You know damn well who. Reuben.”

“He hasn’t done anything, Red. But .. I’m concerned. I’ve heard his slant on things, on the way things are between you. I’d like to hear yours.”

“You know. If he’s told you, you already know. If he was lying, you’d know that too.”

“Yes, I would, but the truth is not always the straight truth, is it? What we say is the truth is what we believe is the truth, but it may not be. I’m building up a picture here, Red. I got Reuben’s view, I got my son’s opinion an’ my son’s wife’s opinion. That’s two outside observers, one of whom is, admittedly, biased because he’s your son’s best friend, and one of the participants. C’mon, don’t play hard to get. This is too important.”

Red’s shoulders tensed and he grimaced but then his face crumpled with pain and his entire body sagged.

“It’s my fault, all of it. I got killed way too young, Ox. Now, I’m not saying that I didn’t deserve it. Don’t think for a minute that I’m complaining about it, about what happened to me, cos I’m not. But Freda just wasn’t ready to cope with raising a trueborn. I should’ve been more careful when I went to fight. I wasn’t. So it’s my fault that Reuben’s running off the rails. I should’ve been there for him. He was a snotty nosed teenager. He had all the moves, all the weapons he needed, an’ he had all the answers. Didn’t matter to him that he wasn’t practicing the moves, that he had no idea what half the weapons did or how he could really put ’em to use. I told him back then that I wanted nothing more to do with him until he got his act together and stopped being the big know-it-all punk assed lazy good for nothing that he’d become. I wanted to shock him, Ox, and I thought I might have succeeded. He looked like I’d punched him in the gut. But, time passed, an’ he never came back. And then, my God .. he turned up at my door. That door right there. He had gotten his act together. He an’ Perry were doing war work, for money. His idea, he said. I couldn’t really understand that but he said you’d okayed it so I went along. I asked him some questions about his training an’ his Mom. He told me straight. He wanted to start over. He was nearly thirty an’ he wanted to make peace. He said I was a guy he’d always admired an’ respected, that I’d hurt him badly before. I was impressed, Ox. I really was. He looked in good shape. There was determination in him. He’d worked hard, I could see it. But then he blew it right outta the water.”

“What did he do?” Ox frowned.

“I asked him about his faith .. an’ he had no idea what I was talking about. None at all.”

Ox’s frown deepened.

“Well .. he left an’ he called back at Christmas. Said he was working on his praying .. but he lied. How he imagined I wouldn’t know is beyond me. He’s visited like clockwork ever since .. until a few days ago. Something happen to him at training week?”

Ox hesitated. “Why d’you ask that?”

“He came to visit. Independence Day. And his mouth just ran away with him. He … Your son’s married now, right?”

“Uh huh.”

“Well, Reuben was telling me about how she’s learning a lot and it kinda grew from that. He said he’d been learning about himself from watching her. He said she had it easier than he did. Well, maybe that’s true in some ways. But it was what he said when I asked him what he’d learned. He’s an amazing guy. That’s what he told me.”

Ox rubbed a thumb along his jaw. “Strictly speaking, Red, he is,” he admitted.

“Sure, I know that but you don’t come out an’ say it. Pride’s a sin, Ox. Think it, yes, but you don’t brag about it, an’ he was bragging. Well, then it turned into a fight. It was as if he was seventeen again. He interrupted me an’ told me the rules. Well, I said he had an attitude problem. He asked if I couldn’t talk about anything else. Then he asked if I was jealous that he’d managed to stay alive while I’d gotten myself killed. By then, I was pretty mad. I said some things I’m not exactly pleased about .. but, God knows, it was the truth. I am glad he never married an’ had kids. I am glad the Meyer name is gonna die with him. He told me he wished he could tell me to go to Hell but I was already dead .. an’ I threw him out. Told him never to come back. That’s it, Ox. Reuben’s on his own.” Red shrugged tautly. “All this was after training week. So .. something must’ve happened to him there.”

“He got wounded. Scratch. It was infected but we cured it.” Ox frowned. “Are you saying he changed dramatically after training week?”

“Yeah, he did, but it wasn’t no demon poison.”

“Reuben and I did talk … ”

“Wasn’t you neither, Ox.”

“Why are you glad that he’s alone, Red? That the name’s gonna die?”

Red sighed. “Because he’s walking a fine line.” He looked round. “He’s dangerous. Watch yourself.”

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